Affair

these days i m quite confused & tired - mentally & physically.
i suspect that he's going to have an affair with her. I know that he still loves me more, i m important to him, but he also like that gal. Like the difference between u have the thought of killing someone Vs the fact that u have killed someone. I thought of not telling him that i knew until i collected more evidence. But this is not right. We all know police's responsibility is to catch theif, but they also have the responsibility to prevent theft. If police suspect someone is going to commit a crime, he cannot wait and do nothing until it happened.
To my surprise, he denies everything. I thought he will admit that he dated her for lunch but they have nothing, he lied bcos he afraid i will be unhappy. Frankly, i dont mind he dated the gal who likes him, i believe M+F can be just friendship. By the way, i m his 1st gf, i dont think i will be the only one he loves in the rest of his life.....i know he would be attracted by other gals. But i just dont like him lying even the evidence is so obvious and even i told him that i dont mind. May be since then he will play more clever.....more difficult for me to find out.....if he can never let me know....this is ok.
No matter what he said, no matter what he did.......he's guilty in my mind. To some extent, it makes me feel better......bcos i m less guilty to him now. Sometimes i wish i m not that clever & sensitive to people's feeling. It reminded me the incident happened almost 8 years ago....my feeling tells me sth wrong but i still trust him. Since then, i dont trust anyone, i only trust myself.
Wounds will recover, but scar is forever.