Feb Movies

1. 刺陵 (2009)

2. The Gamer (2009)

3. Knowing (2009)

4. Whiteout (2009)

5. 十月圍城 (2009)

6. The Hours (2002)

7. Indecent Proposal (1993)

8. New York, I Love You (2009)

See

One of my favorite quotes from bible:



My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.

(Job 42:5)



I like it bcos it coincided with some of my experience in the past.



Nothing happened. Just feel like to put it down.

I want to be.......

In previous episode of Lost, John was asked what kind of animal would he describes himself as.



If I were a kind of animal, I guess I am a cat.



Long time ago, someone asked me what kind of animal I want to be.



It's a totally different question. It's the difference between who you are, and what you want to be. (Perhaps i should ask candidates these questions during the interview !)



I remember my answer was hawk at that time, since I wanted to experience the feeling of flying and hawk is strong in the sky.



Would I still want to be a hawk now?



No. I just want to be a cat.



Life would be easier that way.

也無風雨也無睛

最近這幾個星期，過得很平靜。



除了上班時間會較為用腦之外，其餘時間想得最多的問題是: 今天吃什麼? 明天穿什麼?



控制不了的事......不想了。

看不出

派利是給新同事，她顯得十分詫異，說：「你結了婚嗎? 真看不出。」

去年也有人這樣說。



早前跟友人談到減肥這個話題，我跟她說起我的新磅數，她也說看不出我有這麼重。



友人硬要替我看相，說看不出我是一個悲觀的人。悲觀? 怎麼連我自己都不知道?



其實我已經死了。你們沒人看得出吧?

奶茶以外

戒了奶茶，可以喝什麼？

經過幾星期的摸索、實驗..........



早上通常喝花旗參茶、熱檸水、熱檸蜜。

下午有時喝美祿。

比較寒冷那幾天喝薑茶。

晚上喝牛奶。

有時會忽然迷戀提子味的維多C，但一早清楚是藥，不會喝過量。



慣常光顧那位中醫曾說過，即使是有益的東西，喝太多，吃太多都不好。



我現在喝的甜酸苦辣都齊，夠平均了吧。



其實喝什麼都沒所謂，最重要是不會上癮。

No regret

There are times you don't belong, and you think you're going to kill yourself.



................



It would be wonderful to say you regret it.

It would be easy.

But what does it mean?

What does it mean to regret, when you have no choice?

It's what you can bare.



.................



It was death.

I chose life.





From: The Hours (2002)

The moment

Clarissa: When I m with him I feel, yes I m living. And when I m not with him, yes everything does seem sort of silly.



Clarissa: If you say to me when were you happiest. Tell me the moment you were happiest.



Julia: I know, I know, it was years ago.



Clarissa: Yeah.



Julia: All you are saying is.........you were once young.



Clarissa: I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.





From: The Hours (2002)

"In your book, is it someone has to die?"



"Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more."

新年

新年。



因為天氣忽然轉冷，沒有心情打掃。



反正沒有人來，看不過眼的污跡，用濕紙巾抹一抹就算數。



封利是......買賀年禮品等一星期前已辦妥。



今年多了些時間，我特地整了個excel，記錄派封利是買賀年禮品的詳細資料。H 那邊親戚眾多，我到現在還未完全搞清楚，也是時候弄一個人物關係圖。



年三十，在微雨中行花市。最後只買了綠茶味的龍鬚糖，還有我很喜歡吃的糖葱餅。



年初一，照舊去父母親戚家拜年，H 照舊木著一張臉，由我與親戚們應酬著。唉，比上班還要累。



年初二，不用去街，希望可看完The Hours。



年初三，照舊跟H 的祖母飲茶，再去他朋友家拜年。我跟他們算熟，那邊又有小孩，應該可以輕鬆一點。



差點忘了今年的年初一和情人節撞正同一天。沒有特別的慶祝活動。



在家裡休息，看影碟，出外吃飯，不用看鐘過日子........已是最好的活動。

Insomnia

I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love

But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush

Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up

When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough



Been a fool, girl I know

Didn't expect this is how things would go

Maybe in time, you'll change your mind

Now looking back i wish i could rewind



Because i can't sleep til you're next to me

No i can't live without you no more

Oh i stay up til you're next to me

Til this house feels like it did before

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah



Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love

You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust

And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us

But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up



Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know)

Didn't expect this is how things would go

Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind)

Now looking back i wish i could rewind



Because i can't sleep til you're next to me

No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)

Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)

Til this house feels like it did before (Because it)

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah), Feels like insomnia ah ah



Ah, i just can't go to sleep

Cause it feels like I've fallen for you

It's getting way too deep

And i know that it's love because



I can't sleep til you're next to me

No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)

Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)

Til this house feels like it did before

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah



Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

蜘蛛俠

「我公司有個新女同事，聽講有人見到佢採礦，仲要一邊採一邊彈........好彩佢走左，我地即刻叫亞姐消毒張抬。」



「蜘蛛俠！我公司大把啦。」

故事

看“Sunshine Cleaning”, 有點令我聯想起「密陽」，也令我想起朋友曾構思過的故事......



他說他想寫一個平凡的上班族男人，因有某種專長，昔日是學校的風頭躉。但因這種專長賺不了錢，男人的學業成績又欠佳，他成長後的際遇，幾乎是同班同學中最差的一個。



我記得我們花了不少時間想什麼是賺不了錢的專長。打兵兵球? 朗誦? 玩搖搖?推鉛球? 擲鐵餅?



我喜歡這個故事，也曾期待他寫出來，但這個故事和他很多曾構思過的故事一樣，最後當然是不了了之。



看回舊電郵，原來他也曾想過不少故事:



一對孖生姊妹，一個是警察，一個是賊........

(如果是孖生兄弟的話，可以一個是神父，一個是男妓呢)



一對男女，每年總會見一兩次。每次見面的時候，他們各自剛好遇到一些問題，例如親人去世、結婚、離婚等等。許多年過去了，時機總是不對，他們最終沒有成為戀人。



啊，還有個帶點色情成份的雌雄大盜故事。好像是由俠侶北北蟬演變出來的。



小學時，我也曾寫過不少類似童話故事的短篇，甚至很有心機地畫封面。



後來斷斷續續寫了一些，但都沒有留下來。



某程度上，我覺得寫故事和說謊差不多。至少，無論是寫故事還是說謊的人，都先要把情節舖排得合情合理，再講其他。



寫故事的時候..........說謊的時候.........也是最孤獨的時候。

明星

昨晚看了「超級巨聲」決賽，趙增熹說的某位歌星，不知道是不是他。



總之，就是想起他，也比較喜歡他唱的版本。雖然我並不是他的歌迷。











當你見到天上星星　可會想起我

可會記得當年我的臉

曾為你更比星星笑得多

當你記起當年往事　你又會會如何

可會輕輕淒然嘆喟

懷念我在你心中　照耀過



我像那銀河星星　為你默默愛過

更那柔柔光輝　為你解痛楚



當你見到光明星星　請你想　想起我

當你見到星河燦爛

求你在心中記住我

葉子

作詞：陳曉娟　作曲：陳曉娟　編曲：鐘興民





葉子　是不會飛翔的翅膀

翅膀　是落在天上的葉子

天堂　原來應該不是妄想

只是我早已經遺忘　當初怎麼開始飛翔



＊孤單　是一個人的狂歡

　狂歡　是一群人的孤單

　愛情　原來的開始是陪伴

　但我也漸漸地遺忘　當時是怎樣有人陪伴



＃我一個人吃飯　旅行　到處走走停停

　也一個人看書　寫信　自己對話談心

　只是心又飄到了哪裡　就連自己看也看不清　我想我不僅僅是失去你



Repeat ＃　＊,＃,＃



葉子　是不會飛翔的翅膀

翅膀　是落在天上的葉子

前路

前路，一向都是清晰的。



只是視線經常有點模糊。

奶茶

I 記得我喜歡喝奶茶，問我知不知道蘭芳園在尖沙咀開了分店。



我知道，可惜我剛剛戒了奶茶。



要戒掉一向喜歡的東西實在很困難，我也不明白為什麼突然可以做到。



奶茶本來就不健康，多喝無益，甚至有害。



如果要解釋的話，可能是身體突然起了變化，對奶茶產生抗拒。



所謂的變化，不是那回事。



如果今天死了，只是一屍，不是兩命。

氣壓

星期四，因私事去了一趟銅鑼灣。



星期五，又因公事去了灣仔。



我不是在港島區長大，但對這地方一點也不陌生。



我曾在港島區讀了3年書，又曾在金鐘、灣仔工作了7年。人生中最好的10年，大半時間都在這裡渡過。



最近如沒有什麼重要事，我盡量都不會過海。



不是車費的問題。那邊的氣壓，就是有點不一樣。

天堂.地獄

天堂、地獄........



可以是一念之間。



也可以是一瞬間。

天堂

牽著你在天空飛翔 這樣看世界不一樣

有了你在身旁笑的臉龐 世界或許就這麼寬廣



忽然就忘記了慌張 人海之中你最明亮

無意間的影響 漸漸擴張 你豐富我 生活感想



何必尋找所謂的天堂 原來我因為你 不想再去流浪

情願平凡 不擁有一切也無妨 有了你在心上 依然是天堂



何必尋找所謂的天堂 原來我因為你 不想再去流浪

情願平凡 不擁有一切也無妨 有了你在心上 已經是天堂

Pressure

I am always ok with pressure from work. That doesn't mean I like it, I am just saying that usually I can handle it quite well. At least, my colleagues said they never see me angry at anyone or myself at work. And I never really do.



I always think, it's just a job. If you don't like it, quit it and find a new one. There’re so many jobs in this world. It’s also the main reason why I prefer to choose a generalist rather specialist position. The “Freedom to quit” matters a lot to me.



(Years ago, I had to write an essay about what I really want to achieve in my life. I told a friend, only at that moment, I realized that what matters most to me is the freedom to live the way i want. If I born in ancient china, probably I will wear man clothes and sneak out from home.........)



What if the source of pressure is from your family?



When I was small, my understanding of family is pretty simple. I got only one father, one mother, and a younger brother.



It’s getting more complicated after you get married. It involves husband, parents-in-law, husband’s relatives......may be more.......



It can be even more complicated / stucked after you start having the 1st child, 2nd child etc.



When children grow up, new family members may join. The cycles continues, your roles change. You might get an upgrade, or sth else.....



Quiting from your family is difficult, or impossible. This is not what we are programmed to do. Sometimes, you have no one to blame but yourself, bcos you choose to walk into this prison.



That’s why the pressure from family is most depressing.

What if..............

What if Tony Leung’s last scene in “Days of Being Wild” develops into a 3 hours movie?