Nothing special

These days nothing special for me. Wake up, sleep on the bus, busy with work, after i get home just try to have a hot shower fast in order to sleep earlier, i m so tired. I even lost interest in my favorite potato chips or mcdonald french fry. If there's sth special, there are two.

1. Finally meet you on 25th nite. Our time was short but good.
2. I dont know who called me yesterday nite at 2:00a.m. If i discovered the missed call after i waked up in the morning, it wont be too scary. But it happened when i waked up in the midnite and on my way to washroom, when i was going to pick it up, it stopped and i cant see who's calling. I always relate midnite's call to bad news. Who will call u while everyone is sleeping? Must be emergency, e.g. dead news.

Going to cheer's concert tonite, i believe i will like it.

嫉妒

嫉妒
曲：陳綺貞 詞：陳綺貞
愛上了你 愛上了你的一切
揮不去的是那個 沒有我的世界
心中的一個結 緊緊的鎖住我 微弱似風中不安感受
該如何面對你溫柔眼神 當心中有了疑問
而我是不是你的唯一 而你是不是真的在乎我
請相信我 請相信我的心
就這樣地墜入幸福的深淵
嫉妒你的快樂 它並不是因為我
真心退縮在黑暗角落
該如何傾訴你溫柔聲音 它並不只屬於我
而你是不是真的在乎我 而我是不是你的永久

Jealousy is one of the worst feeling. It's evidence of love.....dark side of love.

This morning, the environment looks so misty. It will look better if i m watching everything thru my window at home (means i m off). But i have to work, feel so sleepy on my way to bus station.

Humid weather makes me feel so sleepy & heavy.....this feeling continue up to now. To make myself better, i bought Raseberry mousse & Hot Potato Gratin from Delifrance, they taste great. Then i try to make milk tea by myself (Earl Grey+Milk+Sugar) I finished it although it tastes awful.

Wear 3' high heel shoes today, it really hurts although the shoes are pretty and make my legs "slimmer". Well, there's a price for everything. Say for example, the dessert makes me happy for 20 mins (I ate them very very.....slow in order to "extend the magic moment") But i have to pay $25 and they will become the fat around my waist and probably be there forever.

Going to leave office soon, see if i can get the "Rose" Lamington at Starbucks. I love it a bit more than the chocolate flavour, but it's only available around Valentine's day.

OT

Still in office. OT.
Before he left, he asked me "Can u finish it today"
Standard answer "Yes, i will finish before i leave"
May be i m not the smartest, but i m very responsible.

Listening to the song recommended by my friend - "I dont miss u anymore" by Lisa Ekdahl.

i dont miss you anymore
less the moonlight's clear
or on a starry night
i just might miss you a little bit
i dont miss you anymore
unless its a cloudy day
or if the sunshine's bright
i just might miss you nothing there
i dont miss you
til the morning fills the air
or the afternoon is fair
or the evening light is barely there
i dont miss you
and you know it's not a lie
unless the moon is floating high
above a perfect midnight sky
i dont miss you anymore
unless i close my eyes
especially open wide i see
i miss you everyday

In short, i m telling u that i love u.

小塵埃

曲：陳綺貞 詞：陳綺貞 編：

她在五點十分醒 她在清晨時候離開
透明的玻璃窗沾滿小塵埃
我在這裡 比黑暗更深的夜裡
張開眼睛 陌生人遞來一封信
我在清晨時候醒來 帶著他的暗示離開
在跌倒的地方 勇敢站起來
我在這裡 我在你昨天的夢裡 一片烏雲 一座神秘的小森林
誰來擁抱我 保護我
或是傷害我 放棄我 擁抱我 保護我
帶著我逃到黑暗的盡頭
擁抱我 保護我
或是傷害我 放棄我 擁抱我 保護我
帶著我逃到黑暗的盡頭 等著他
我在午夜時候回來 帶著憂傷的歌把回憶敲開
我在這裡 手提著沉沉的行李
迷失在我和你未完成的旅行 你在哪裡
一道解不開的謎題
隱藏在我和你未完成的作品
隱藏在我和你未完成的作品

Best moments of today

Best moments of today:

1. Wake up around 6:00a.m., realize that i dont need to work, sleep again happily.
2. Talk to u in the morning.
3. Teach Gi Gi how to draw, she laughs.
4. Gi Gi calls my name in the washroom. (She never calls my name)
5. Gi Gi finds me in her dad's room, holds my hands & leads me to the living room, asks me to teach her how to identify mahjongs.
6. Have a hot water shower after i go home.
7. Sleep (I have not slept, but i sure that i will like it......as i m very very tired)

夏天的風

<夏天的風> by 溫嵐

七月的風懶懶的 連雲都變熱熱的
不久後天悶悶的 一陣午後雨下過 喔 Yeah
氣溫 爬升到無法再忍受 索性閉上了雙眼 讓想像任意改變
場景兩個人一起散著步 我的臉也輕輕貼著你胸口
聽到心跳 喔…在乎我 和天氣一樣溫度
夏天的風 我永遠記得 清清楚楚的說你愛我
我看見你酷酷的笑容 也有靦腆的時候
夏天的風 正暖暖吹過 穿過頭髮穿過耳朵 你和我的夏天風輕輕說著

I miss 夏天的風. Yesterday go hiking in the morning & BBQ at the seaside in the evening, 冬天的風 makes me sick.

倔強愛情的勝利

Remember when i was still a child, i was so excited for CNY. I will volunteer to put $$ into the red packets for parents. Not so excited for these now...... after i have experienced 25 years of CNY (deduct 3 years bcos age 1-3 i was still an innocent baby.....haha) and now i m inserting my own money :( "Red" is a symbol for good luck in CNY. Also symbol of "Lossing blood" from me.....

I like the song below, especially the last 2 lines.....really take some time to find the lyrics.....

倔強愛情的勝利　　

我的過去未來視線所及
全都是你的假想敵
我的關心治療你殘缺的自信
我是你不容懷疑的決定

我們才有了共同的話題
我們的晚餐才能再繼續
這就是我們所謂的友誼

是誰容許你侵犯我的回憶
亂翻我的抽屜 檢查受傷的痕跡
就算我愛你也未必會愛上你溫柔的暴力 欺騙的權力
我們才有了共同的難題
我們的未來要不要繼續
這就是我們所謂的愛情

我的自由全都送給你
好的壞的全都放棄
這就是你倔強愛情的勝利
得到的也許是另一種悲劇

Today..........

When i was buying chinese style overcoat this morning, the shop owner asked "Are you from Singapore?" I spoke Cantonese with her, she said i have Singapore accent (?). People have said i look like japanese or i look like Canadian Borned Chinese, this time i look like Singaporean....interesting.

Afternoon went to Wanchai for lunch w/ colleagues. We took the tram instead of walking.I always wish i can spend one nite on the tram from chai wan to north point (I dont know their routing indeed.....but i guess it's the longest one??), just to see the streets, lights, people walking.......to feel the night time in this city. My ipod mini will accompany me and i will think of u. Having u in my mind is romantic even i go alone. If u can go with me, we would talk like Celine & Jesse as in "Before Sunrise".

The food there is excellent, the milk tea mousse is great although i cannot find milk tea flavour. But the environment is very dirty. I forced myself not to look at the floors or the walls, i afraid i will lose all the appetite. But when i leave the place, i will watch the floor clearly. I dont want to step on cockcroaches by accident and their body stick on my shoes.......><

回憶誰不會有.... 它每天每夜溫柔的壓痛了我

Just have a very scary thought.
I found it safe to write online diary bcos it wont be "discovered" by someone.
But what if the server down and i lost all my entries? Even internet is not safe ah.

Going to leave office soon, no mood to work. Listening 陳綺貞 - 慢歌. I dont understand why she gives that title to that song.

你說:「你不懂我的溫柔」
我猜你不懂我對愛的要求
寂寞誰不會有 但至少我願分擔你的憂愁
我也想在大街上牽你的手
主動的追求責任拋在腦後
回憶誰不會有 它每天每夜溫柔的壓痛了我
寂寞誰不會有 衝動誰不會有
重要的是『你懂我』哭紅的眼睛『為什麼』
回憶誰不會有 犯錯誰不會有
重要的是你和我 美麗的相遇對愛不保留
回憶誰不會有 犯錯誰不會有
重要的是你和我 錯誤的相愛不願再放手

This week & next week will be all about 陳綺貞. I have almost 90% of her songs now. If i like sth, i want to concentrate on it until i think i know enough. After 陳綺貞 it would be 蔡健雅, then 村上. I hope i can finish "Lost in Translation" this sunday.

The song of tonite: 孤島

孤島
曲：陳綺貞 詞：陳綺貞

你說的每句話 都像是一幅畫
我要把它看個仔細 我要把它想得透徹
看不清你的心 是一片水藍的盡頭
我要撥開層層烏雲 張開在黑暗中的眼睛
我從你的話語之間 才瞭解你和我之間
不需要語言 不需要一字一句
字與字的連結 是你情感的流洩
即使是無聲的停頓 也是最完美的表情
走不近你的心 是一座孤獨的島嶼
放棄了乘著風浪 不漂流在你的四方
我從你的話語之間 才瞭解你和我之間失去了語言
失去了一字一句的空間

I have to OT. So it comes out "The song of tonite". 陳綺貞 again. I want to familiar with all her songs before the concert. U said i shouldnt just post the lyrics on my diary. i should write sth. But sometimes i think, the lyrics itself is already beautiful. I dont want my words "destroy" the mood. Without u, i feel like just me sitting on the lonely island, watching the sea whole day, no more visitor.

Song of this afternoon: 旅行的意義

<旅行的意義> by 陳綺貞

你看過了許多美景 你看過了許多美女
你迷失在地圖上 每一道短暫的光陰
你品嚐了夜的的巴黎 你踏過下雪的北京
你熟記書本裡 每一句你最愛的真理
卻說不出你愛我的原因 卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在什麼場合我曾讓你動心 說不出離開的原因
你累計了許多飛行 你用心挑選紀念品
你搜集了地圖上 每一次的風和日麗
你擁抱熱情的島嶼 你埋葬記憶的土耳其
你流連電影裡美麗的不真實的場景
卻說不出你愛我的原因 卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出什麼場合我曾讓你分心 說不出旅行的意義

勉強說出你為我寄出的每封信都是你離開的原因
你離開我 就是旅行的意義

The song of this afternoon is "The meaning of travelling". Bcos ur travelling ma. This is the 1st 陳綺貞 song u sent me. After i heard the whole CD, I told u that i like 旅行的意義 & 還是會寂寞 most. But I dont love her a lot yet. Now, like u, i have become her fans,almost like her every song & will be going to her concert alone (I never go concert alone).

Below is the last e-mail u sent me before ur japan trip. I really like what u wrote. I know u will feel embarrassed to see ur writing, but this is the only thing i have for these 7 days, they are so important to me. I have to put it into my diary:

i know u know, and i know i don't have to say it, but i want to tell u seriously. i really love u. and i will think of u all the time. you would be travelling with me every sec. every min. but this time, it won't be sad, because i know u would be waiting for me. and vice versa, i would be with u every sec. every min these 7 days. and you don't have to be sad. because i want to see u as soon as possible.
I love u.

Song of this morning - 告訴我

<告訴我> by 陳綺貞

看沉默的電話 它什麼都不說
看電視的畫面 它無聲的閃動
看街上的行人 跟我擦肩而過
整個世界太冷漠 我沒有力氣再往前走
看你緊閉的嘴唇 它什麼都不說
看你飄忽的眼神 它無情的閃躲
看你和我的回憶 跟我擦肩而過
你的改變太冷漠 我沒有勇氣大聲地說
告訴我 你不是真的離開我
你也不願這樣的夜裡 把難過留給我
告訴我 你不是真的離開我
你是要懲罰我的愛讓你失去自由
告訴我．．．

Today u didnt call me. Actually, u cannot call me bcos ur in Japan now. Then i think of this song.

Song of today: 會不會

<會不會> song & lyrics by 陳綺貞

離開你的視線 卸下我為你偽裝的容顏
紅的唇 白的臉 灰色的午夜
離開你的世界 讓情緒完完整整的渲洩
冷的心 熱的淚 空白的想念
我想今夜就這樣吧 就算孤獨也無所謂
也許有一天你開始後悔 會不會 會不會

Your car played this song while you were driving me to Prince Edward. I like it 1st time i heard it.

This song is right for today's mood & weather.

One evening

Remember one evening, i had a walk at the waterfront park, the sunset was very beautiful. I was watching it, keep having good & bad memories in my head, like playing old movies. While i was enjoying the moment, my friend called.

She: "Where are u now"
(She always ask where i m, may be she doesnt really want to know....but this is her way to start the conversation.)

Me: "At the Waterfront Park"

She: "Alone?"
(Yeah, she always like to know who are with me too, even this is not her purpose of calling me)

Me: "Yes"

She: "What are u doing there?"

Me: "Just want to have a walk and watch the sunset"

She: "Are u crazy?"

Actually she called bcos she wants to have drinks with me. Why she doesnt ask directly in her 1st question? I dislike people asking me lots of questions about where i m going, what i m doing, who i m with, like police asking criminal. (Unless it's my husband)
I m crazy bcos i watch the sunset alone? I always go everywhere alone. I think it's not a must to be accompanied. I dont want to waste time calling people and have to talk (social) with them while we are together, especially to those belong to "different channel". Shopping alone is more efficient, I can leave after i got my targeted items. By the way, I dont need people's opinion on which clothes is better, i can make the decision myself.

Next time this friend called and i m watching sunset again, i will tell her i m with husband and we are walking home together. Sometimes i like to lie, bcos i dont want to explain. I will only explain to someone whom i think he/she can understand.

There's one saying that "People feel lonely not bcos he is alone, it's bcos there are many people around but no one understand him". I have many friends. We can talk. But i put them into different groups owing to the topics we can talk. No one could make me feel really comfortable to tell the truth & everything.

我的驕傲無可救藥

Start to hear all the old songs of Cheer Chan, as i will be going to her concert on Feb 28.
I like this one:

我的驕傲無可救藥 我的懶惰也改不掉
我的脾氣控制不了 我都知道 我自己都知道
每次約會我都遲到 其實這也沒有什麼大不了
對你的愛不會減少 你要相信我 是為了你才這麼說
我的驕傲無可救藥 我的懶惰也改不掉
我的脾氣控制不了 我都知道 我自己都知道
每次約會我都遲到 為了討好你 把時間都忘掉
再給我時間讓你知道對你的愛 沒有人能做到
我知道你愛我並不是因為我是個乖女孩
我的習慣也不會因你而更改
我知道你愛我並不是因為我對你的依賴
你的放縱讓我捨不得離開
我的自私無可救藥 你的溫柔我躲不掉
我的借口讓你受不了 我卻知道你的愛不會減少

Plan

I like planning things and stick to the plan. Seeing myself accomplished the goals one by one will give me a great sense of satisfaction. Without goals, i will get lost / getting lazy / do meaningless things. After a while, i will think back and blame myself for wasting time.

Just created a file called 'XXX Financial Statement" in my computer. Of cos it's not a professional statement with balance sheet, Profit & Loss A/C......just a record of my income & expenses. At least i know where my money goes and start to do some savings. This is the 2nd time i try to do it, my previous try was 3 years ago. I hope i can keep up with it this time :)