Ang Lee @ HKU

Received the HKU Convocation Newsletter earlier this week. Read it today and I found that Ang Lee had held a public talk in HKU on 1st Oct 2009. Here is the link of the video:



http://daaoweb.hku.hk/en/alumni/anglee/fullrecap/normal/





Some of the quotes:



“When I have a goal in making a movie, there is a lot of curiosity.....I think curiosity is 學問學問. Learning is asking to fulfil curiosity. I think that’s a greater school.”



“My closest feeling to love is actually quite abstract. It’s a lot like Brokeback Mountain. It is something happening in Brokeback Mountain you don’t really know. You find yourself chasing the meaning of it, trying to have a picture of it. A clear picture but you can never find. The more you are confused, the more romantic, the more grand it is. That’s how I believe in love.”



“Death is something horrifying, but at the same time it’s probably the most fascinating thing in creating artistic work because life changes, there are no certain fixed values.......but death stops, movement stops changing. Somehow it has a depth of beauty in it because it’s pure.”

Dec movies

Watched quite a lot of movies in Dec. Since they have accompanied me to pass one of the most difficult time of my life, just feel like to write them down.



我左眼見到鬼

This movie makes me sad. If without 劉青雲 and the ending, it’s rather rubbish.



風雲

I slept most of the time. Some stupid conversations made me laughed.



風聲

It’s nice & smooth overall. I never like李冰冰, but she really acted well here. It’s like she has become a totally different person. If 周汛 is the star in here, she’s the moon. That’s my impression.



The Proposal

It’s ok to kill time, but I don't like it. I guess I have passed that stage, or perhaps, I have experienced a better one, and nothing can make me feel touched anymore.



Terminator Salvation – Feel like watching one bad episode of my favorite TV program. I am not a fans for Terminator series, but since I have been following this series for quite a long time.....just want to know how things developed.



Insomnia

I like it. I guess I like that kind of story. Dramatic, but real.

Your principle defines who you are. We think we know who we are, we believe in what we believe. But sometimes, you will become someone you don't know when things happened.



火影忍者劇場版疾風傳 - 絆.

Unlike the comics, it’s boring. The story doesn't make sense as well.



Avatar

I watched the 3D version. Simple story, simple theme, great visual effect.



The Bucket List

I like it very much. 2 old men talked most of the time. Many conversations are funny. It’s one of the assigned movies from my ex-bf, also the last one. The ending is good. I guess it’s what he wants to talk about. By the way, I wonder why Carter remains to be the narrator after he’s dead. He talked about things happened about his death. Does it imply there is life after death?



The Ugly Truth

I think I wont finish it, so I put it here. By reading the title only, I thought it was talking about marriage.

漫畫

小時侯最先喜歡的是聽故事、看書，之後才喜歡看電影。後來受H影晌，開始喜歡看漫畫。



我覺得漫畫的模式有點介乎書和電影之間。 有一段時間，天天都要與大量文字週旋。下了班後，便寧願看電影。平常坐車吃飯等人時，就看漫畫。



這幾本是我最近在看而又很喜歡的漫畫:



玻璃面具

少女漫畫中還在追看的除了《玻璃面具》，就只有《Skip Beat》和《NANA》。恰巧故事都是和演藝界有關。《玻璃面具》是H唯一會看的少女漫畫。據我所知，他的「電車男」朋友們也在追看。



秘密

故事內容: 2055年，警方為了偵查某些懸案，可合法地使用一種能將被害者臨死前所見的影像再度呈現的新式科技。影像雖然沒有聲音，但卻連死者臨死前的回憶、幻覺都可呈現出來。

喜歡它純粹因為故事精彩，案情曲折離奇。人的心，有時真的可以是全世界最黑暗地方。



爆漫

喜歡漫畫的人未必喜歡《爆漫》。但喜歡創作故事的人應該會覺得這本漫畫很有趣。



自殺島

為免浪費社會資源，政府將一班自殺未遂的人流放到一個孤島，任由他們自生自滅。乍看之下，很多情節和LOST很相似。也許，所有流落荒島所發生的事基本上差不多。不過主角由一班想要回到現實世界的人變成一班想要自殺的人，就已經是一個不同故事。



《島耕作》系列

一本描寫職場生態的漫畫，非常貼近現實。最不現實的，反而是島耕作這個人。



黃昏流星群

《黃昏流星群》寫的，是中/老年人的故事，內容圍繞人生多於愛情，看的時侯很有啟發性，會感動，甚至有共鳴。



Cross Game

女主角出場不久就死了。其他人的故事繼續。女主角偶而也會在其他人的回憶裡客串演出。看安達充的漫畫，就好像跟一個情人明明已認識多年，但每次相處，仍有心動的感覺。



其他在看的漫畫還有: 漂靈、狐忍、One Piece、彼岸島、霸、假面教師、Liar Game、神之水滴、結界師........應該還有其他。但我只認得封面，書名卻忘記了。

心之所在

你認為那個心是在哪裡?



.....................



我覺得那個心應該是在「這裡」。在我和你接觸之時，心首次在我倆之間萌生。



心並不存在於身體裡。在想起什麼，想起誰時，心就在那裡萌生。



倘若世界只有自己一個，那麼心便不存在於任何地方，根本不用苦惱。



只要你衷心希望在這裡，你的心便會在這裡。只要你的心在這裡，那便是你該在這裡的理由。



(漂靈 Vol. 30)



***************************************************************************



我的心在那裡?



送了出去的，早已收不回來。就算勉強收回來，也不是當初那一個。



剩餘的........還在我這裡的.......暫時放在雪櫃裡。

聖誕禮物

今年收到的聖誕禮物裡，其中一份是Hello Kitty化妝袋。

我跟同事笑說，這份禮物遲了20年。因為我早已不喜歡Hello Kitty。

禮物，都有時間性。

聖誕假期

聖誕假期唯一的節目是去isquare看3D版 Avatar。

其餘時間都只是執屋、執自己、休息。

買了雙城故事、秋天的童話VCD/DVD，還有Superband演唱會門票，當是給自己的聖誕禮物。

Merry Christmas

One of my favorite scene from "Love Actually":



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is9xHR11E3A&feature=related

活著

趁未有BB﹐中午時趕緊去染髮﹐一坐兩句鐘。中途聽到兩首陳奕迅的歌。









作曲:胡波

填詞:黃偉文



當我還在　花園散步

當我還在　浴室洗澡

十步以內　可擁抱



＊遇著什麼　煩～惱

想跟我說　都可聽到

翻到有趣　圖畫

何妨大笑　讓妙事亦被我看～～到



＃遊玩時　開心一點　不必掛念我

來好好給我活著　就似最初

仍然在呼吸都應該　要慶賀

如果想哭　可試試對嘉賓滿座......

說個笑話　紀念我



到處還是　香水氣味

到處還是　塗鴉筆記

就像我未　拋低你











作曲： 雷頌德

作詞： 黃偉文

編曲： 雷頌德



無端端今年開始很怕死

年輕一點　一點都不顧忌　輪到未

最怕活著　但是沒運氣　爭口氣



人一生很少多於一世紀

還省起很多任務未做　不等於有期

夠我逐件逐件地辦理　重新整理



談戀愛　遊天地　做喜歡的工作和享受遊戲

一死了　怎細味　一想死　La … La … La …

強壯地　吸口氣　來看戲　來打機

來接吻　來添飯　來簽些卡也好過去死　唏



如老友個個對我實在好

何以要個個也到我　喪禮上狂號

還要人悼念　真的太殘酷　多恐怖



如你你我我厭世便入土

兒女與愛侶照顧的責任　誰去做

一想到　woo …　總卻步　怎捨得死



談戀愛　遊天地　做喜歡的工作和享受遊戲

一死了　怎細味　一講起



還是覺得很怕死　埋在腳下黃土地

難道會比這裡有驚喜　不捨得　剩低你

誰在某天都會死　無奈我並無準備

留下未看的戲太早死



不捨得　閤起眼地　逃避

（他不想死她不想死　落力站著但沒實地

你卻放棄在原地）　誰更弱　你問你

（他不想死她不想死　落力站著但沒實地

你卻厭世地逃避）　Oh …



談戀愛　遊天地　做喜歡的工作和享受遊戲

一死了　怎細味　遲早死　La …



唏　為何還提早死　人人遲早夠期

今天　為什麼想死　過兩日　再問你

唏　完全忘記　活著又另有趣味　有趣味

你未曾　到末期　La … La … La …

而我未　捨得你　La … La … La …



***************************************************************************



死﹐我不怕。只怕走到了生命的盡頭﹐回望過去﹐才後悔自己沒有好好的活過。

抱抱

某年某月某日



「抱我。」

「? 」

「叉電呀。」



********************************************



某年某月某日



「抱我。」

「?」

「好凍呀。」

崇拜

崇拜，是距離瞭解最遙遠的感情。

(漂靈 Vol. 20)





自小，就沒有什麼偶像。

雖然我也曾喜歡過不少明星，但喜歡和崇拜，始終有分別。

總之，我就是無法去喜歡一個自己不瞭解的人。

結果，不是因瞭解而喜歡，就是因瞭解而分開。

當然也有例外。

債

每個人都要為自己所做過的事負責。

我為我的快樂負責，我自然也要為我的痛苦負責。



現在終於到了還債的時侯。一筆不知何時會還清的債。

除非中六合彩........



就看這幾天了。

Funny ad

This ad makes me laugh every time i watch it:







I think the funniest part is how the dinosaur stepped back after he realized he did sth wrong.



May be, their life will be happier after the wife became "隻眼開隻眼閉".

2009

Year 2009 is coming to an end.



I seldom do review / conclude what’s the best / worst of the year thing in the past. It is simply because I m lazy and moody. I don’t like to do sth because “it’s time”. I only do things when I feel “it’s the mood”.



In 2009, so many things happened. In the first half of the year, i was busily occupied with my new demanding boss, my final year study & 2 of my best friends’ wedding. I got herpes zoster first time in my life. And then my face suddenly allergic to the dust from construction sites (there are many construction sites around my office). What’s worst, my bf became demanding as well and I always got complained. He had his own problems too. We are too tired to help each other. Later, after 2 weeks of good time, he died.



I don’t know how to review my year 2009 except saying......goodbye.



B is obsessed with fortune telling things lately. She told me that when it comes to year end with no. 9, my life will start changing. When it comes to year end with no. 0, significant things (not necessarily sth bad) that may affect my whole life will happen. According to her, the number for different people is different.



Look back my history.........



1989 Graduated from primary school

1990 After one incident, I decided to switch to a new secondary school

1999 Got my bachelor degree

2000 My father almost died from a stroke. At the same time, someone died because of me.

2009 Got my master degree. My bf died.



I don’t think I am a very superstitious person. I am curious about many things, but I never take them seriously. When people tell me sth new, I will listen and think about it, until I got sth new to think about.



Anyway, so sth important supposes to happen next year. Then what? Nothing I can do. I don’t even worry about it. In fact, I think I worry less and less. Perhaps..........i have spent most of the time to accept or escape from what had happened.

動物園

上個月去了番禺一個動物園。由於自己本身對動物沒興趣，對是次行程也不存什麼期望。



第一晚的節目是看馬戲。除了空中飛人環節我特別留神之外，其餘時間大都心不在焉。



酒店房間很漂亮，外面還有一個小花園。但陌生的床始終睡不慣，當晚還連續發了幾個惡夢，好不容易捱到第二天..........



第二天的行程自然是遊動物園。印象中這是我第一次親眼看見長頸鹿和黑熊......當然還有其他動物.......繼續心不在焉。



坐遊覽車時，朋友的女兒因為坐位問題和她媽媽起了爭執，明知錯的是她，也堅決不肯讓步。



我隨口向她說：「你激怒了媽媽，不怕她不買玩具給你?」



小女孩二話不說立刻和她媽媽交換坐位。朋友不禁稱讚我對小孩有辦法。



我認識的小孩並不多，可能只是湊巧說中她的死穴。再者，同一句話，由我說出來應該比由她媽媽說出來好。



到了中午，一行人飯也不吃就為了要看熊貓表演。一向喜歡看來笨笨的熊貓，這算是我最期待的節目之一。



音樂響起，一班穿熊貓公仔衣服的人載歌載舞出場。這班人跳了大約十分鐘，我們再笨也曉得不會有真的熊貓表演，笑著去附近一間餐廳吃午飯。一坐下來，大家都不想再走動了。



回程時見到久違了的碰碰車。一大堆車被困在小小的場地內，不撞其他車的話，就好像沒什麼好玩。不過也有人以閃避為樂。



對於這個遊戲，駕駛技術太差的我通常都是玩得一塌糊塗。例如: 明明想避開卻撞上了；或本來想撞朋友的車，卻撞上別人的車。



不過，也可能，遊戲的目的就是這樣。你要不享受過程，要不乾脆離場。



之後的事，沒什麼特別。一個週末就這樣過去了。

不如不見

通常我盡量避免在晚上看一些可能會令我傷心的電影。昨天不知為什麼想看「我左眼見到鬼」。都4個月了，應該無事。結果成晚睡不著。



如果不計那些不只一次無故閃爍的燈，好幾次向我飛撲而來趕也趕不走的昆蟲...........我倒在夢中見過他。



第1次，他說他要去一個很遠的地方，回來時再向我解釋。



第2次，他說他離開是為了陪舊情人辦一些事，我們吵了一場。



第3次，他送了一盒胭脂給我。



第4次，10月19日已寫過。



第5次，我夢見自己睡著了，他臉貼臉的睡在我旁邊。



第6次，我看到他牽著一個短髮窈窕女孩的手，他們手上拿著一大袋食物，看來像回家打邊爐。



夢裡發生的事，不代表什麼。但目睹了，仍是會傷心。



我想說，如果只能這樣見，那不如不見。



但說出來就後悔了。以後..............是很長的一段日子。

How to make woman happy

i found it from an e-mail i sent to a friend 5 years ago:







To make a woman happy..... a man ONLY needs to be:





>



> 1. a friend



> 2. a companion



> 3. a lover



> 4. a brother



> 5. a father



> 6. a master



> 7. a chef



> 8. an electrician



> 9. a carpenter



> 10. a plumber



> 11. a mechanic



> 12. a decorator



> 13. a stylist



> 14. a sexologist



> 15. a gynaecologist



> 16. a psychologist



> 17. a pest exterminator



> 18. a psychiatrist



> 19. a healer



> 20. a good listener



> 21. an organiser



> 22. a good father



> 23. very clean



> 24. sympathetic



> 25. athletic



> 26. warm



> 27. attentive



> 28. gallant



> 29. intelligent



> 30. funny



> 31. creative



> 32. tender



> 33. strong



> 34. understanding



> 35. tolerant



> 36. prudent



> 37. ambitious



> 38. capable



> 39. courageous



> 40. determined



> 41. true



> 42. dependable



> 43. passionate



>



> WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:



> 44. give her compliments regularly



> 45. love shopping



> 46. be honest



> 47. be very rich



> 48. not stress her out



> 49. not look at other girls



>



> AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:



> 50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself



> 51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself



> 52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes



>







> IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:



> 53. Never to forget:



> * birthdays



> * anniversaries



> * arrangements she makes















>



> NOW ....HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :



>



> 1. Leave him alone

魚

除了「距離」之外，最喜歡的就是這一首。



據說，陳綺貞這首歌是以魚兒為第一身，去詮釋她對自由的看法。魚兒只能在水中生存，卻渴望拋下所有到外面的世界，同時又期望有東西能令她甘心留下...........







<魚>





詞曲／陳綺貞





我坐在椅子上 看日出復活



我坐在夕陽裡 看城市的衰弱



我摘下一片葉子 讓它代替我



觀察離開後的變化







曾經狂奔 舞蹈 貪婪的說話



隨著冷的濕的心



腐化







帶不走的丟不掉的 讓大雨侵蝕吧



讓它推向我在邊界



奮不顧身掙扎







如果有一個懷抱 勇敢不計代價



別讓我飛 將我溫柔豢養







我坐在椅子上 看日出復活



我坐在夕陽裡 看城市的衰弱



我摘下一片葉子 讓它代替我 觀察離開後的變化







曾經狂奔，舞蹈，貪婪的說話



隨著冷的濕的心，



腐化。







帶不走的留不下的，我全都交付它。



讓它捧著我在手掌，自由自在揮灑。







如果有一個世界 混濁的不像話



原諒我飛



曾經眷戀太陽







帶不走的丟不掉的 讓大雨侵蝕吧



讓它推向我在邊界



奮不顧身掙扎







如果有一個世界混濁得不像話



我會瘋狂的愛上







帶不走的留不下的



我全都交付它



讓它捧著我在手掌



自由自在揮灑







如果有一個懷抱 勇敢不計代價



別讓我飛 將我溫柔豢養



原諒我飛



曾經眷戀太陽

If I need to buy an X'mas gift for you........

http://www.japantrends.com/shima-kosaku-supplements-for-salarymen/

A Question of Character

A question of character



Aug 7th 2008

From The Economist print edition

What Kosaku Shima, Japan’s most popular salaryman, says about Japanese business



JAPANESE bosses are mostly an elderly lot. So it seemed that a new generation had taken the reins of corporate Japan when Kosaku Shima was appointed president of Hatsushiba Goyo, a conglomerate, in June. At just 60, Mr Shima is the best known and most beloved businessman in Japan. His ascent from lowly salaryman to lofty shacho (president) traces corporate Japan’s rise in the 1980s, its descent into the “lost decade” of the 1990s and its subsequent tentative recovery. News of Mr Shima’s appointment was broadcast on television and splashed across the country’s newspapers, and the bosses of Japan’s biggest firms lined up to lavish praise on him. “He is a man of principle,” said Tsunehisa Katsumata, president of Tokyo Electric Power.



Part of Mr Shima’s appeal, in addition to his timelessly youthful looks, is his respect for the Japanese virtues of hard work, self-sacrifice, loyalty and modesty. “My position is a result of the support of the people around me,” he said when he was named to the post. Despite his modesty, Mr Shima has been the subject of two television series and a film. He endorses snacks and beer, so that pictures of him, perpetually raising a glass, are plastered across Japan. Ladies cannot help but throw themselves before him. He is rather like a Japanese James Bond who swapped 007 for an MBA. And Mr Shima resembles Mr Bond in another respect: he is a fictional character.



To be precise, Mr Shima is a manga (or cartoon) character. The comic books that have chronicled his career, drawn and written by Kenshi Hirokane since 1983, are hugely popular. Alongside improbable exploits and gratuitous sex, the books deal with serious themes and provide an unvarnished, realistic portrait of Japanese business. Middle managers are pushed into early retirement for daring to question the boss in a meeting; workers do not see their families for weeks as they are forced to remain at the office; managers are so wedded to their jobs that their wives divorce them; nasty office politics abound.



Yet in many ways Mr Shima is an unlikely choice to lead the fictional Hatsushiba. He made his reputation by taking risks, acting decisively, ruffling feathers and staying outside the factions vying for power. Such independent-minded individuals are anathema to corporate Japan and do not usually last long. During a stint managing Hatsushiba’s record label, for example, Mr Shima pushed out stuffy managers who squandered money and obstructed his reforms. When running overseas affiliates, he criticised the way in which Japanese firms like to send in Japanese managers; he promoted local staff instead, with much success. Mr Shima is, in other words, the antithesis of a Japanese executive. He is direct in his dealings, meritocratic, comes to his own conclusions, takes responsibility and embraces change. He is a leader in an environment hostile to leadership.



“Shima is influential—business people want to be like him but can’t,” says Yuko Kawamoto, a management professor at Waseda University who also sits on several company boards. But Mr Shima’s popularity is a positive sign, she believes. “Maybe there is hope for Japanese society. We want to change, but do not have the courage,” she says. For Mr Hirokane, the artist and author of the books, Mr Shima’s adventures are a way to inform as much as entertain. “Japan is really behind the rest of the world,” he says. “I want readers to know the critical situation of Japanese business in the world, and ask: 'What shall we do about it?'”



Mr Hirokane, with his silver cufflinks and gleaming wristwatch, is as dapper as the businessman he depicts. And he is cut from the same cloth. After earning a law degree, Mr Hirokane spent four years at Matsushita, a giant conglomerate, before becoming a manga artist—a radical career shift, particularly in Japan. But his success meant that life imitated art, and he emerged as a business savant. Mr Hirokane sits on government committees, interviews the bosses of big Japanese firms and spent a year as a professor of business ethics. Salaryman manga has been popular since the 1960s, but “Shima Kosaku” is the most adored, selling some 30m books. In Japan manga is a mainstream medium, with annual sales of ?470 billion (about $4.5 billion).

Not on the curriculum vitae



Some of Mr Shima’s exploits raise questions about his suitability for his new role. He divorced his wife and all but ignored his family. He fathered an illegitimate child. In his 40s, as a rising executive, he had an affair with a subordinate 20 years his junior (who happened to be the daughter of the firm’s founder). More controversially, in 2002 Mr Shima solicited the help of the Chinese underworld to aid a colleague seeking revenge against a corrupt businessman, which resulted in that man’s torture and death.



In the 1990s the president of Hatsushiba sought to defend a former friend’s company that was under threat of a hostile takeover, and dispatched Mr Shima to spare no expense and buy up its shares. Mr Shima was venerated for his success. Yet his actions represented a blatant conflict of interest and a misuse of corporate funds. In the West, the pair would have faced shareholder lawsuits and possibly criminal charges. When confronted with this, a wide-eyed Mr Hirokane can only stammer that Mr Shima’s actions were probably allowed in Japan at the time.



As president, Mr Shima’s first message to his employees was “Think Global!” It was meant to set the tone of his tenure. But his very presence in the boss’s chair is improbable. His career has been defined by a willingness to break the rules of Japanese business, rather than play the game. His story is popular because it juxtaposes a dashing lifestyle with the unflattering reality of corporate Japan. It would have been more realistic if Mr Shima had been forced to end his career parked at an obscure affiliate company in the hinterland. With the ascension of the archetypal corporate rebel to the top job, Mr Shima’s story has gone from smart social realism to being just another fairy tale.

曖昧的味道

午飯時不想吃得太飽 (也不想吃得太貴)，只買了杯熱奶茶加雞尾包。



自己一向不喜歡吃甜的麵包，雞尾包算是例外。我喜歡它那介乎鹹與甜之間的曖昧味道。



我想我喜歡奶茶的原因也差不多。

英雄所見略同

「我個女而家5歲都仲未戒夜奶。」

「啊。」

「佢仲堅持要用奶樽飲，佢話咁樣好飲D。」



我都覺得樽裝維他奶比紙包裝好飲。

10 favorite things

1. Hot milk tea

2. Movie

3. Book

4. Music

5. Comic

6. Calvin Klein underwear

7. Any rose perfume

8. Lost

9. Fringe

10. Miffy

The best day

"i think the best day is that i don't have to look at the watch, or even looking at the watch doesn't mean anything."



Apart from that, sometimes, i think the best day is the day when no one call me. No one call me means i dont need to talk.....



Talking to people can be tiring and even painful - especially when you are having a sore throat.

A video

看完齊秦「原來的我」mv

在related videos裡看到了這一段:

A song

<夜夜夜夜>



曲詞:熊天平

唱:齊秦





想問天你在哪裡　我又想問問我自己

一開始我聰明　結束我聰明　聰明得幾乎都毀掉了我自己



想問天問大地　或者是迷信問問宿命

放棄所有　拋下所有　讓我漂流在安靜的夜夜空裡



你也不必牽強再說愛我　反正我的靈魂已片片凋落

慢慢的拼湊　慢慢的拼湊　拼湊成一個完全不屬於真正的我



我不願再放縱　我不願每天每夜每秒漂流

也不願 再多問 再多說 再多求 我的夢

又病

又病了

偏偏在全年最忙的時候



未倒下來的人

總要捱下去



很多時候

不是不想死

我的確還有很多事想做

但不做的話

其實也沒所謂



不過

我是一定不會自殺的

結束自己的生命

也不過是把自己的痛苦轉移到其他人身上



如果有一天我看來像自殺般死了

不是意外

就是謀殺

未來的人

我今天還在吃芝士薯條和公仔麵.........

又差點不記得吃藥

我會是一個好母親嗎?



可能是

我實在不懂愛一個未來的人

Xmas gifts

I want to buy some Xmas gifts for my family this year.



I was thinking to buy a digital photo frame....



But after talking to them this afternoon.....(just causal chat, i didnt ask what Xmas gifts they want)



I think my father would prefer i spend a morning with him in Tai Po waterfront park.



My mom would be very happy if i give her HKD 30,000 for buying HSBC stock.



As for my brother, i guess he would like me to buy him Beyond CDs, or i buy him a dinner in a nice Japanese restaurant, and we talk.....i can ask him later, i sure he will think of sth specific and cheap.



My husband already said no. If he said no, it means no. But i think he would be happy if i do sth for him. How about i cook a meal? Or warm his bed side in the coldest days (Dec only)?



As for you....i dont need to think about it anymore. But if i really want....i may take a photo and think of you at that moment. Although this idea is not original.....i guess no one will care about it.

瘋狂世界

小時候

母親不准我們看電視

因為看過的節目不多

反而記得清楚



有一個節目叫「瘋狂世界」

其中一章講路人甲丟了一枚硬幣給一個乞丐

路人乙見狀丟了兩枚

路人甲又挑釁地丟下更多錢

總之

兩人就此槓上了

最後不知誰更開始寫支票.........

目的只是為了要鬥贏對方

比對方捐更多的錢



結果

乞丐成了有錢佬

他後來在街上碰見已變成乞丐的路人甲乙

只丟下一枚硬幣就走了



故事的確很荒謬

不過

不代表不會在現實世界裡發生

你清楚自己在鬥的是贏還是輸嗎?

Romeo & Juliet (1968)

Romeo & Juliet (1968) 是大學一年級英國文學堂的功課。

我最喜歡的一幕: 羅密歐在人群中看到了茱麗葉，可愛的茱麗葉還懵然不知。

好笑

http://evchk.wikia.com/wiki/%E5%B0%8F%E7%BE%8E%E9%BA%97





其實我不應該笑，好像有點物傷其類..........

不過，又真的覺得好好笑。

好笑的是整個故事，不是想取笑什麼人。

原來，地球真的好危險。

Sunday afternoon with my dad

My mom is still in Dubai. She will be back tomorrow. I visited my dad this afternoon.



It's rather difficult to find common topics to talk with him. He’s not interested in what’s going on.



Yesterday, I took out our photo albums, we talked about my childhood.



Today, no more photo albums.I have to find sth new.......



Since the computer is on, I clicked to YouTube and asked him what old stuff he wanted to watch. He said he wanted to watch “周璇”.



I taught him how to use the mouse, it took some time. His right hand was not well after he got a stroke. But when I was small, he also spent long time teaching us to use spoon & chopsticks......



He liked this one:







<天涯歌女>

曲：賀綠汀

詞：田漢



天涯呀海角　覓呀覓知音

小妹妹唱歌郎奏琴

郎呀咱們倆是一條心

哎呀　哎呀　郎呀咱們倆是一條心



家山呀北望　淚呀淚沾襟

小妹妹想郎直到今

郎呀患難之交恩愛深

哎呀　哎呀　郎呀患難之交恩愛深



人生呀誰不　惜呀惜青春

小妹妹似線郎似針

郎呀穿在一起不離分

哎呀　哎呀　郎呀穿在一起不離分



...........................................................................



When the song is about to finish, I think I cried. I went to washroom. After I came back, my dad was crying. He said it reminded him the harsh life he had been thru while he was in China. (?!) I can’t see any obvious link between this song and the harsh life. It’s more a love song to me, not “半斤八兩”...........perhaps, he missed his little gal friend, but he didn’t want to tell. Perhaps, he's telling the truth, just i dont understand it.



Then we watched this one:







<花樣的年華>

作曲: 林枚

編曲監製填詞: 范煙橋



花樣的年華，月樣的精神，冰雪樣的聰明。

美麗的生活，多情的眷屬，圓滿的家庭。

驀地裏這孤島籠罩著慘霧愁雲，慘霧愁雲。



啊，可愛的中國，幾時我能夠投進你的懷抱，

能見那霧消雲散，重見你放出光明。



花樣的年華，月樣的精神。



...........................................................................



I think this one is funny, although my dad does not like her much:







<假正經>

作詞：葉逸芳

作曲：黎錦光

編曲：張政傑



假惺惺 假惺惺 做人何必假惺惺

你想看 你要看 你就仔細的看看清

不要那麼樣的裝著 不要那麼樣的裝著

一本正經 一本正經 何必呢 假正經

假正經 你的眼睛早已經 溜過來又溜過去

在偷偷的看個不停

難為情 難為情 什麼叫做難為情 想愛我

要愛我 你就痛快的表明 不要那麼樣的扮起

不要那麼樣的扮起 面孔鐵青 嚇壞了人何必呢

紅著臉 跳著心 你的靈魂早已經 飄過來又飄過去

在飄飄的飄個不停



...........................................................................



I live in the present most of the time. But sometimes, I think I belong to the past. It doesn’t mean I only live in my past, I like things in the past even I was still very young. Anyway, this is another topic.

2012

Watched 2012 yesterday. The story is kind of expected.



It’s definitely not a movie that will be nominated for Oscar. But the market needs these movies. I also need these movies sometimes.



I recalled when I was young, in most Hollywood movies I watched, yellow faces were always appeared as stupid passer-bys. Black people usually died first among a group of people.



Now………the ark is built in china. The abnormal earth movement is first discovered by an Indian scientist. The US President, the key person of the project are black people. At the end, Africa seems to be the only place unaffected by the disasters. Things changed.



There’s actually one scene I like.



2 monks in a Tibet temple. Young and old.



The old monk kept pouring water into the young monk’s cup. The young monk asked him dont pour anymore bcos the water was spilling from the cup.



The old monk said, if he needs to get the water, he had to empty the cup.



I forgot whether they are discussing about knowledge, or faith on god. Anyway, they are basically the same to me.

浪漫

你地覺得甚麼最浪漫？



大佑：「不能重複的事最浪漫，例如已經死了的John Lennon。」

華健：「荷爾蒙的分泌就是最浪漫！」

宗盛：「我覺得浪漫是悲傷的。」

阿嶽：「曖昧，不知道對方喜不喜歡自己，又不知道做些甚麼才好最浪漫。」



http://www.wakinchau.com/interview/faceweekly-09-01.htm



----------------------------------------------------------------------------



我曾跟某人說過：「和你一起浪費時間最浪漫。」

憶蓮的歌

關於憶蓮的歌.......

最喜歡的應該是這幾首

雖然我還未聽完她所有的歌





赤裸的秘密

曲 薜忠銘 / 詞 潘源良 / 編 倫永亮



就像是一艘飛向星的客機

心仿彿早已離地 身邊的一切游離

不夠膽望向你

為怕你知道此刻的心理

還是推開你 去呼吸空氣



盡力地說一些笑話做逃避

偏不知怎麼說起 方可找得到自己

為何能遇上你

能驟眼已感到沒半點距離

純屬緣份 還是如以往我再自欺



偷偷感激你 (多麼感激你)

能讓我再試這滋味

無奈我卻怕愛比刀鋒更利

更痴戀也是要捨棄

祇好感激你

明日我要與你分飛千里

留下我愛你這赤裸的秘密

也祇好偶然再想起







早晨

曲 C.Santana, C.Thompson / 詞 潘源良 / 編 Richard Yuen



仍是昨夜的清風 滲與四週

仍是這樣輕的手 貼於我手

在那窗紗盡頭 隨著軟風晨光透

燃亮著在桌上 沒喝完的酒

夢也片刻逗留 才幻化痴情一縷

到此方知酒醒 而熱愛仍舊

仍是昨夜的溫馨 仿彿永久

仍是灼熱的相擁 誰理時候



在這小小地球 緣份到底難猜透

原來但願你能 伴我便足夠

共你這麼自由 甜蜜笑聲常擁有

那管天光天黑 仍緊握你手







依然

曲 Amato, Cantarelli / 詞 林振強 / 編 Alexander De La Cruz



風吹我的衣襟 然後載浪花飛奔沾你身

這晚你偶然來一起與我望海

你對我說 :「好嗎? 一切好嗎? 尋找到真愛吧?」

其實你可知道誰依然等

知否你的聲音 仍令這靜止的心翻滾

我倆有過凌晨 一起看過夜深

與你有過許多 跨過許多甜酸苦的腳步

潮和浪縱洗足印 情依然深



依然相信 將來再必可 一起繼續 昨天烈火

依然相信 將來你終可 清楚我在 在等什麼



假使你的心窩 仍盛載著一丁點的愛火

我也會以全神找緊 縱費盡心

縱要費上一生 所有光陰 仍一點不過問

仍期待你可知道 誰依然真



假使你也是依然 感到我所感 容許你我讓當天復燃吧

假使你也是依然 需要我所需 容許你我在彼此內留下

依然相信 將來你終可 清楚眼內在講什麼

依然相信 將來再必可 一起繼續昨天濃火

憶蓮

還記得中三上數學課時，不知從哪裡傳來林憶蓮的歌。

當時正在講解數學題的阿Sir突然停止說話，一臉失神的樣子。

後來他解釋：「你們不覺得林憶蓮的歌很好聽 ?」

印象中，全班鴉雀無聲。

現在回想起來......如果他不是同性戀(當時的確有人懷疑他是)，他很可能是一個感情豐富的人。

看書

以前看書

通常盡量一口氣看完

因為我喜歡一頭栽進另一個世界

逃離現實的感覺



我知道有些人喜歡慢慢看

像好不容易找到一頭心愛的獵物

不捨得一下子吃完

看到最後一頁時

還會有無法言喻的失落感



最近看書的速度慢了很多

可能我只是累了

也可能是我想停留在現實世界多一點

Kiss me goodbye

Angela Aki is the singer i like recently. I like this song more than the song about writing to the 15 years old me.





The MV in English version:









The MV in Japanese version. I like the visual effect on the piano, also the wedding gown:









How come she dressed as if she's going to the market soon? But her voice is still very impressive and powerful when singing live:

書信~給15歲的你

作詞　Angela Aki

作曲　Angela Aki





拝啓　この手紙　読んでいるあなたは

敬啟者： 此刻 讀著這封信的你



どこで　何をして　いるのだろう

現在在哪裡 做些什麼呢?

　　　　　　

十五の僕には　誰にも話せない悩みの種が　あるのです

十五歲的我 有著無法向任何人訴說的煩惱

　　　　　　　　　

未来の自分に　宛てて書く手紙なら

如果是寫給未來的自己的信的話　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

きっと　素直に　打ち明けられるだろう　　　

想必一定能坦率的說出口吧　　



今　負けそうで　泣きそうで

此刻 快要認輸 快要掉下淚來

　　　　　　　　　　

消えてしまいそうな僕は

彷彿下一秒就要消失的我　　　　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの？

該相信誰的話繼續往前走呢?　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　

一つしかないこの胸が　

只有一顆的心　　　

　　　　　　　　　

何度もばらばらに割れて

不斷的破碎、崩壞　　　　　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

苦しい中で　今を生きている

在痛苦之中 活在當下　　　　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

今を生きている　

活在當下　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　



拝啓　ありがとう　

敬啟者： 謝謝你的信

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

十五のあなたに　伝えたいことがあるのです

我也有話 想告訴十五歲的你　　　　　　　　　



自分とは何で どこへ向かうべきか

自己究竟是誰 該朝何處前進

　　　　　　

問い続ければ　見えてくる

只要不斷追問 就能找到答案　　　　　



荒れた青春の海は厳しいけれど

波瀾萬丈的青春之海雖然險惡



明日の岸辺へと 夢の舟よ進め

將夢之舟朝著明日的岸邊前進吧

　　　　



今　負けないで　泣かないで

此刻 不要放棄 不要流淚

　　　　　　　　　

消えてしまいそうな時は

彷彿下一秒就要消失之時　

　　　　　　　　　

自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの　

只要相信自己的聲音 昂首闊步向前走就好

　　　　　　　　

大人の僕も　傷ついて

大人的我 也曾有過受了傷

　　　　　　　　　　　　　

眠れない夜はあるけれど

而難以成眠的夜晚

　　　　　　　　　　

苦くて甘い　今を生きている

苦中帶甜 活在當下



人生の全てに意味があるから

人生的一切 都有意義　　　　　

　　　　　　

恐れずにあなたの夢を育てて

所以不要害怕 讓你的夢想成長茁壯吧　　　　



Keep on believing Keep on believing 　

Keep on believing Keep on believing



今　負けそうで　泣きそうで

此刻 快要認輸 快要掉下淚來

　　　　　　　　　　

消えてしまいそうな僕は

彷彿下一秒就要消失的我　　　　　　　　　　

　 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

誰の言葉を信じ歩けばいいの？

該相信誰的話繼續往前走呢?　

　　　　　

ああ今　負けないで　泣かないで

啊 此刻 不要放棄 不要流淚

　　　　　　　　　

消えてしまいそうな時は

彷彿下一秒就要消失之時　

　　　　　　　　　

自分の声を信じ歩けばいいの　

只要相信自己的聲音 昂首闊步向前走就好

　

　　　 　　

いつの時代も　悲しみを　

不論何時 面對悲傷

　　　　　　　　 　　

避けては　通れないけれど

只會逃避的話是行不通的

　　　　　　　　　　　

笑顔を見せて　　今を生きていこう

展露笑容 努力活下去吧

　 　　　　

拝啓　この手紙読んでいるあなたが　

敬起者 我祈禱現在讀著這封信的你　



幸せなことを　願います

能過得幸福



...........................................................................



A while ago, I was hoping to talk to the future me – may be a 40 / 50 years old me. And i want to write a story about it.



There are so many questions I want to ask her.



Then I think, may be my life afterwards is more miserable than where I am now. She wouldn’t know how to answer my questions.



What if I am standing in front of the 15 years old me? I also wouldn’t know how to talk to her. Perhaps.....I shall ask her not to eat much and never accept a dick without condom. Just like how all the mothers talk to their daughters.　　　　　　

Stupid Women

I & J, my best female friends invited me to take photos at TST tonight for Xmas.



No, not using DSLR to take photos of the Xmas lights.



It's we pose in front of those Xmas lights, we are the subjects, not Xmas lights.



I think the whole thing is stupid.



Perhaps, I don’t like to do such thing because I am getting old or my outlook is getting worse. But think back, I never take that kind of photos in Xmas, even when I was young.



Anyway, I can still go. I can still be the photograher. But since it’s Tuesday........normally I don't go out on Tuesday & Thursday. I refused them finally.



The reason..........although it makes sense to me, it is quite stupid actually.

想聽

作曲 : 雷頌德

作詞 : 青介

監製 : 雷頌德

主唱 : 陳奕迅



風怎麼叫　話我知蜜蜂怎笑

星怎不叫囂　難道怕誰人被搔擾

想緊握這　靜悄的一秒

噪音聽厭了愛上在深宵

呆看這寂寞雨點　放浪輕飄　



如果寧靜中感到害怕　送我相擁有用嗎

會為我添上顧慮嗎　可安心嗎

平靜的海　仍充滿熱情暗浪

只得一剎那　捉不緊變化

雖安身這個懷裡亦怕



想聽得見　用耳聽未必聽見

將心擺耳邊　才驟覺沉默有深淺

聽到淺笑　用笑織冠冕

縱聽得剎那夠快樂一天

陶醉這靜默愛戀　快樂飛天　



如果寧靜中感到害怕　送你相擁有用嗎

會為你添上顧慮嗎　可安心嗎

平靜的海　仍充滿熱情暗浪

想聽出變化　想聽出記掛

想聽聽到嗎　容我念掛



如果沉睡中感到害怕　你這相擁有用嗎

會為我牽去顧慮嗎　可安息嗎

平靜的海　無心叫熱情靠岸

可惜一剎那　可惜這變化

雖安身這個懷裡亦怕

The evolution of homosexuality: Gender bending

Oct 23rd 2008

From The Economist print edition



Genes that make some people gay make their brothers and sisters fecund





THE evidence suggests that homosexual behaviour is partly genetic. Studies of identical twins, for example, show that if one of a pair (regardless of sex) is homosexual, the other has a 50% chance of being so, too. That observation, though, raises a worrying evolutionary question: how could a trait so at odds with reproductive success survive the ruthless imperatives of natural selection?



Various answers have been suggested. However, they all boil down to the idea that the relatives of those who are gay gain some advantage that allows genes predisposing people to homosexual behaviour to be passed on collaterally.



One proposal is that the help provided by maiden aunts and bachelor uncles in caring and providing for the children of their brothers and sisters might suffice. That seems unlikely to be the whole story (the amount of help needed to compensate would be huge), though it might be a contributory factor. The other idea, since there is evidence that male homosexuals, at least, are more likely than average to come from large families, is that the genes for gayness bring reproductive advantage to those who have them but are not actually gay themselves. Originally, the thought was that whichever genes make men gay might make women more fecund, and possibly vice versa.



Brendan Zietsch of the Queensland Institute of Medical Research in Brisbane, Australia, and his colleagues have, however, come up with a twist on this idea. In a paper to be published soon in Evolution and Human Behavior, they suggest the advantage accrues not to relatives of the opposite sex, but to those of the same one. They think that genes which cause men to be more feminine in appearance, outlook and behaviour and those that make women more masculine in those attributes, confer reproductive advantages as long as they do not push the individual possessing them all the way to homosexuality.



The straight truth



Other evidence does indeed show that homosexuals tend to be “gender atypical” in areas beside their choice of sexual partner. Gay men often see themselves as being more feminine than straight men do, and, mutatis mutandis, the same is true for lesbians. To a lesser extent, homosexuals tend to have gender-atypical careers, hobbies and other interests.



Personality tests also show differences, with gay men ranking higher than straight men in standardised tests for agreeableness, expressiveness, conscientiousness, openness to experience and neuroticism. Lesbians tend to be more assertive and less neurotic than straight women.



There are also data which suggest that having a more feminine personality might indeed give a heterosexual male an advantage. Though women prefer traditionally macho men at the time in their menstrual cycles when they are most fertile, at other times they are more attracted to those with feminine traits such as tenderness, considerateness and kindness, as well as those with feminised faces. The explanation usually advanced for this is that macho men will provide the sperm needed to make sexy sons, but the more feminised phenotype makes a better carer and provider—in other words an ideal husband. And, despite all the adultery and cuckoldry that goes on in the world, it is the husband who fathers most of the children.



As far as masculinised women are concerned, less research has been done on the advantages that their appearance and behaviour might bring. What data there are, however, suggest they tend to have more sexual partners than highly feminised women do. That may, Dr Zietsch speculates, reflect increased competitiveness or a willingness to engage in unrestrained sexual relations (ie, to behave in a male-like way) that other women do not share.



Dr Zietsch and his colleagues tested their idea by doing a twin study of their own. They asked 4,904 individual twins, not all of them identical, to fill out anonymous questionnaires about their sexual orientation, their gender self-identification and the number of opposite-sex partners they had had during the course of their lives. (They used this figure as a proxy for reproductive fitness, since modern birth-control techniques mask actual reproductive fitness.)



The rules of attraction



Their first observation was that the number of sexual partners an individual claimed did correlate with that individual’s “gender identity”. The more feminine a man, the more masculine a woman, the higher the hit rate with the opposite sex—though women of all gender identities reported fewer partners than men did. (This paradox is normal in such studies. It probably reflects either male boasting or female bashfulness, but though it affects totals it does not seem to affect trends.)



When the relationships between twins were included in the statistical analysis (all genes in common for identical twins; a 50% overlap for the non-identical) the team was able to show that both atypical gender identity and its influence on the number of people of the opposite sex an individual claimed to have seduced were under a significant amount of genetic control. More directly, the study showed that heterosexuals with a homosexual twin tend to have more sexual partners than heterosexuals with a heterosexual twin.



According to the final crunching of the numbers, genes explain 27% of an individual’s gender identity and 59% of the variation in the number of sexual partners that people have. The team also measured the genetic component of sexual orientation and came up with a figure of 47%—more or less the same, therefore, as that from previous studies. The idea that it is having fecund relatives that sustains homosexuality thus looks quite plausible.

透

天氣開始回暖

頭頂上的天空是一種近乎透明的碧藍色

我看了很久

卻怎樣看也無法看透天空外的世界

正如我也無法看透

我和你的未來

How Can I Not Love You

Someone sent this song to me many years ago. It will become part of my memories now. Just my memories.







Cannot touch, cannot hold

Cannot be together

Cannot love, cannot kiss,

Cannot have each other



Must be strong, and we must let go

Cannot say what our hearts must know



How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do i not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?



Cannot dream, Cannot share,

Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel how we feel,

Must pretend it's over

Must be brave, and we must go on

Must not say what we've known all along



How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do I not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?

How can I not love you?

Must be brave, and we must be strong

Cannot say what we've known all along



How can I not love you?

What do I tell my heart?

When do I not want you here in my arms?

How does one waltz away from all of the memories?

How do I not miss you when you are gone?

How can I not love you when you are gone?

洗澡

昨晚洗澡時我想

如果連沐浴露都是暖的

那就完美了

星期六

如果不用上班，星期六通常是我一星期中最自由的日子。

9時起床，悠閒地邊看書邊吃早餐.......之後看中醫、探望父母，買了村上春樹的「1Q84」和東野圭吾的「瀕死之眼」。下午快速地做了一些家務(對不喜歡做的事，我多數做得最有效率) 。晚上看「竊聽者」。

可以隨心所欲地過一天，再不快樂，也無抱怨的餘地了吧。

Beauty of the Night

冬天

今年的冬天似乎來得特別快。秋裝還未正式上場，冬裝就要出動。

前幾天發覺Office竟然比外面冷。經我一番調查後，發現原來不知哪個死仆街把冷氣調至HI。

天冷的時侯，人好像特別累。
穿衣服搽lotion開關暖爐......已需花比夏天時更多的力氣。
由公司到火車站那段15分鐘的路，永遠寒風刺骨。單是發抖的過程，又消耗了一堆能量。

再這樣冷下去，真的有點意志消沉。

熄

自己點的蠟燭
自己吹熄

一個人

一個人吃午飯。看"聽風的歌"。

午餐是花素窩貼、小籠包，還有水仙茶。

一個人........也可以心神彷彿。

No one to talk to

Endangered languages
When nobody understands

Oct 23rd 2008
(From The Economist print edition)


The electronic age drives some languages out of existence, but can help save others


THINK of the solitude felt by Marie Smith before she died earlier this year in her native Alaska, at 89. She was the last person who knew the language of the Eyak people as a mother-tongue. Or imagine Ned Mandrell, who died in 1974—he was the last native speaker of Manx, similar to Irish and Scots Gaelic. Both these people had the comfort of being surrounded, some of the time, by enthusiasts who knew something precious was vanishing and tried to record and learn whatever they could of a vanishing tongue. In remote parts of the world, dozens more people are on the point of taking to their graves a system of communication that will never be recorded or reconstructed.
Does it matter? Plenty of languages—among them Akkadian, Etruscan, Tangut and Chibcha—have gone the way of the dodo, without causing much trouble to posterity. Should anyone lose sleep over the fact that many tongues—from Manchu (spoken in China) to Hua (Botswana) and Gwich’in (Alaska)—are in danger of suffering a similar fate?
Compared with groups who lobby to save animals or trees, campaigners who lobby to preserve languages are themselves a rare breed. But they are trying both to mitigate and publicise an alarming acceleration in the rate at which languages are vanishing. Of some 6,900 tongues spoken in the world today, some 50% to 90% could be gone by the end of the century. In Africa, at least 300 languages are in near-term danger, and 200 more have died recently or are on the verge of death. Some 145 languages are threatened in East and South-East Asia.
Some languages, even robust ones, face an obvious threat in the shape of a political power bent on imposing a majority tongue. A youngster in any part of the Soviet Union soon realised that whatever you spoke at home, mastering Russian was the key to success; citizens of China, including Tibetan ones, face similar pressure to focus on Mandarin, the main Chinese dialect.
Nor did English reach its present global status without ruthless tactics. In years past, Americans, Canadians and Australians took native children away from their families to be raised at boarding schools where English rules. In all the Celtic fringes of the British Isles there are bitter memories of children being punished for speaking the wrong language.
But in an age of mass communications, the threats to linguistic diversity are less draconian and more spontaneous. Parents stop using traditional tongues, thinking it will be better for their children to grow up using a dominant language (such as Swahili in East Africa) or a global one (such as English, Mandarin or Spanish). And even if parents try to keep the old speech alive, their efforts can be doomed by films and computer games.
The result is a growing list of tongues spoken only by white-haired elders. A book* edited by Peter Austin, an Australian linguist, gives some examples: Njerep, one of 31 endangered languages counted in Cameroon, reportedly has only four speakers left, all over 60. The valleys of the Caucasus used to be a paradise for linguists in search of unusual syntax, but Ubykh, one of the region’s baffling tongues, officially expired in 1992.
The effort to keep languages alive can lead to hard arguments, especially where limited funds are available to spend on education and official communications. In both America and Britain, some feel that, whatever people speak at home, priority should go to making sure that children know English well.
But supporters of linguistic diversity make strong arguments too. Nicholas Ostler, a scholar who heads the Foundation for Endangered Languages, a non-profit group based in Britain, says multilingual children do better academically than monolingual ones. He rejects the notion that a common tongue helps to avoid war: think of Rwanda, Bosnia and Vietnam.
Mark Abler, a Canadian writer, says the protection of endangered species is closely linked to the preservation of tongues. On a recent expedition in Australia, a rare turtle was found to have two varieties; a dying but rich native language, Gagudju, had different words for each kind.
Thanks to electronics, saviours of languages have better tools than ever before; words and sounds can easily be posted on the internet. Educational techniques are improving, too. In New Zealand Maori-speakers have formed “language nests”, in which grandparents coach toddlers in the old tongue. Australia’s dying Kamilaroi language was boosted by pop songs teenagers liked. But whatever tricks or technology are used, the only test of a language’s viability is everyday life. “The way to save languages is to speak them,” says Mr Austin. “People have to talk to people.”

Comfort Zone

I am reading an old friend's blog. In one entry, he said may be the song "Last Christmas" was part of his comfort zone.

Where's my comfort zone?

.........................

At this moment, I guess it's my place of work.

Miss

I miss you.

三少爺的劍 - 古龍

雖然已睡了整天，而且睡得很沉，阿吉還是顯得很疲倦。
一種從心底深處生出來的疲倦，就像是一棵已在心裡生了根的毒草。
...............................................................................

阿吉手裡的斷刀，竟似已化成了一陣風，輕輕的向他吹了過來。
他看得見刀光，也能感覺到這陣風，但卻完全不知道如何閃避招架。
風吹來的時候，有誰能躲得開？又有誰知道風是從那裡吹來的？
...............................................................................

小院中枯樹搖曳，斗室裡一燈如豆。
她沒有走進來，他也沒有走出去，只是靜靜的互相凝視著。
他們之間的關係，也總是像這樣，若即若離，不可捉摸。
沒有人能瞭解他對她的感情，也沒有人知道他心裡在想什麼。
不管他心裡想什麼，至少他臉上連一點都沒有表露。
他久已學會在女人面前隱藏自己的情感，尤其是這個女人。
...............................................................................

謝曉峰舉杯，飲盡，道：「每個人活著時，都一定有很多心裡很想去做，卻不敢去做的事，因為一個人只要想活下去，就難免會有很多拘束很多顧忌。」
簡傳學又長長歎了口氣，苦笑道：「芸芸眾生中，有誰能無拘無束，隨心所欲！」
謝曉峰道：「有一種人！」
簡傳學道：「那種?」
謝曉峰微笑道：「知道自已最多只能再活幾天的人。」
...............................................................................

謝曉峰道：「你是個很有才能的人，出身好，學問好，而且剛強正直，想必一直都受人尊敬，你自己當然也不敢做出一點逾越規矩禮教的事。」
簡傳學不能否認。
謝曉峰道：「可是如果你只能活三天，你會去幹什麼?」
他一口氣喝了三杯酒，大聲道：「如果我只能再活三天，我會去大吃大喝，狂嫖爛賭，把全城的婊子都找來，脫光了跟她們捉迷藏。」
他父親吃驚的看著他，道：「你………你怎會想到要做這種事！」
謝曉峰道：「這種事本來就很有趣，如果你只能活三天，你說不定也會去做的！」
謝曉峰道：「只可惜你們都還要活很久，所以你們心裡就算想得要命，也只能偷偷的在心裡想想而已。」
...............................................................................

他們都已有了幾分酒意，簡傳學的酒意正濃，喃喃道：「那些人一定很奇怪，我怎會忽然想到要做這些事，我一向是個好孩子。」
謝曉峰道：「你是不是人?」
簡傳學道：「當然是。」
謝曉峰道：「只要是人，不管是什麼樣的人，要學壞都比學好容易，尤其像吃喝嫖賭這種事根本連學都不必學的。」
...............................................................................

冷月。新墳。「燕十三之墓」。
用花岡石做成的墓碑上，只有這簡簡單單的五個字，因為無論用多少字，都無法刻劃他充滿悲傷和傳奇的一生。這位絕代的劍客，已長埋於此。他曾經到達過從來沒有別人到達過的劍術巔峰，現在卻還是和別人一樣埋入了黃土。
...............................................................................

這是個單純而簡樸的小鎮，卻是到泰山去的必經之路。他們雖然說是隨便看看，隨便走走，卻還是走上了這條路。有時侯人與人之間的關係，就像是你放出去的風箏一樣，不管風箏已飛得多高，飛得多遠，卻還是有根線在連繫著。

只不過這條線也像是繫在河水中那柄劍上的線一樣，別人通常都看不見而已。

Bad Day

星期日
天陰
寒冷
心情惡劣

把很多東西都丟進垃圾筒裡
也懶得分類
總之眼不見為淨

丟得有點累
氣開始平

下週繼續

賣

I 得知某人的ebay生意純利比我們兩人加起來的工資還要多的時候﹐她開始認真考慮這門生意。

「我應該賣什麼好﹐內衣褲?」I 問。
「都好。你可以賣新的又可以賣穿過的。男女通吃。」
「我又想賣飾物。你呢？」
「或者賣肥妹衫。」我胡亂說。
「肥妹衫大件就得啦。肥妹哪有心機打扮？」
「就是外表不好﹐更加要打扮。肥都要肥得有型。」
「你做MODEL?」
「痴線！」
「還是賣春好。」
「你還有得賣?」

?

What shall i eat for lunch?
What shall i do tonite?
What shall i eat for dinner?

Since i havent figure out the answers yet, I am still working in office.

約定

"你有沒有試過聽王菲的「約定」而哭，如果試過，你是聽完全隻歌之後哭？還是聽到一半哭？定聽至某一句就會哭？我通常都是聽到「...要決心忘記 我便記不起..」就會流淚..."

(http://unklebeach.blogspot.com/2009/11/blog-post_10.html)

昨天和同事K-Lunch唱了這隻歌。很難說最喜歡那一句。也不記得聽到哪裡會哭。

就像如果你喜歡一個人，他值得你喜歡的地方，不會只得一樣。

別人問你喜歡他什麼，你也說不出來。

心痛

開始時是頭痛，現在是心痛。
頭痛可以吃止痛藥，心痛可以吃什麼?
小籠包? 窩貼? 陳漢記叉燒腸、煲仔飯? 熱維他奶?

敢愛敢做

無意中聽到這首歌........令我想起一個人。



歌手：林子祥
作曲：Hammond/Warren
填詞：潘偉源

街邊焦急的我 餐廳憂鬱的你
隔片沙玻璃 兩眼帶些傷悲

交通燈邊的我 緊抱深愛的你
聽呼吸聲 確已急速到死

冷雨撲向我 點點紛飛 千噸高溫波濤 由你湧起
個個說我太狂 笑我不羈 敢於交出真情 那算可鄙

狂抱擁 不需休息的吻
不需呼吸空氣 不須街邊觀眾遠離
微雨中 身邊車輛飛過 街裡路人走過
交通燈催促過 剩下獨是我跟你

收緊一雙手臂 箍緊身邊的你
透過濕恤衫 貼向你的膚肌
身邊多少指責 都已一概不理
愛得真深 我倆應該吻死

就讓宇宙塌下 世界變了荒地
日月碎做殞石 我倆也吻著到每個世紀

某年夏天

時間：某年夏天
地點：大學圖書館

「我可唔可以同你做朋友？」
「唔可以 !」

他不是旭仔，我也不是蘇麗珍。
故事到此結束。

像 ?

小時候，一位長輩曾說我像一名亞姐，又說我完全不像我父母。

20多歲時有人說我笑起來像林XX。

一位男友曾說我有時像鄧XX，有時像一位他很喜歡的日本女星。

I 說中學時覺得我像吳XX和XXX惠，後來她和她同事都覺得我像陳XX，現在她不知我像誰。

人一胖起來，就開始面目模糊。不外是肥妹肥婆或是肥師奶。

這樣也好。

像............

一個新相識的朋友說我和H很像
尢其是那種似笑非笑的神情
通常
我想串人或覺得某事很好笑但又不好意思說出來的時侯
就是這副表情

A Perfect Day

夏天的風

比起冷氣
我較喜歡開風扇
比起風扇
我更喜歡夏天的風

可惜
它像所有的風一樣

你只能期待
想像
或懷念

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Watched “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” few weeks ago. I want to write about it, but I don’t know how to start.

I love this movie, although it makes me sad while watching, and sad for weeks afterwards.

As you said, watching the whole movie I just keep thinking about you, not really a particular scene. But some scenes makes me think of you more, like when Daisy & Benjamin are looking themselves in mirror, when Benjamin’s father is talking about buttons, and the typhoon.

I agree the directing of David Fincher is very different from Zodiac & Seven (Sorry, haven’t watched Fight Club yet). Actually, I don’t know how it’s technically different. I don’t even know what's the exact role of a director in movies. This is not sth I care most. Usually I only care whether I enjoy the movie, how it inspires me.......... later I may be interested in how the movie is made.

I assume.........the role of director is like a story teller. These stories are totally different, and therefore, he has to tell it in a different way. He’s a good story teller.

To me, this movie is more about life. You meet different people in your life, they come and go. And then you meet someone very important, and your life changed.

“You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go.”

..........

I keep thinking about the issue of “let go”.

..........

Don’t know what to say. I feel puzzled. This is not the first time I lost someone that I love. I know what to do, I keep doing it every day. However, I still live in pain.

May be........it’s just not a skill that can be learnt. Getting more practice does not positively correlate with your performance / results. Every time you lost sth important, you have to learn it all over again – learn to live a life without them.

In this case, isn’t it better to be alone? No love, no happiness, no pain, no hope, no disappointment. Nothing ever existed, nothing need to let go.

..........

非誠勿擾

今晚看了 “非誠勿擾”
雖然笑笑的痛苦是熟悉的
但我一點想哭的感覺都沒有
很多時還大聲笑了出來
尤其是『教堂懺悔』那一幕

可能下午剛哭完眼淚缺貨
也可能是撞壞了腦

整套戲看得很舒服自然
舒服得我後來索性躺在沙發上看

北海道的風景很熟口熟面
那個湖和燈塔
可能早已在你的照片裡看過

不能不提包剪揼遊戲
不過我們應該不需要分歧終端機
印象中
你沒有出過貓
我也肯定沒有

因為我們玩這個遊戲的時候
從沒認真計過輸贏
計輸贏的
就不是遊戲

一個故事

她終於決定了去找他﹐雖然時限只有3分鐘。

她按下了門鈴﹐他開了門。


在時間軸上﹐這是5年前的他。

但對她而言﹐這是5年後的他。


「你今天好像有點不同。」

「如果我說我來自5年後﹐你信不信?」

「你有沒有什麼手信給我﹐例如: 5年後的報紙? 」

「除了我和我的衣服﹐他們不准我帶其他東西。」

「真的? 那2014年7月31日1點鐘你有沒有去?」

「那天你睡得像豬一樣﹐ 我好不容易把你拉了下床。 我們1點鐘到了那裡﹐ 之後吃飯看戲。」

「看什麼戲?」

「你也許不信﹐是Before Sunset 的續集。」

「是不是發生了什麼事? 你為什麼要來?」


她差點忘了準備好的問題。


「對﹐昨天聊電話時我有沒有說............」她在他耳邊說了一句話。

「為什麼這樣問?」

「因為5年後我們吵架﹐你說我沒有說過﹐但我好像有說。」

「5年後我們結婚了嗎? 」

「你還沒有回答我的問題。」

「你答完我﹐我自然會告訴你。」


氣氛僵持著。還剩下半分鐘。她知道這是離開的時侯。


「我要走了。」

「我幾時可以再見你?」他捉著她的手。


她多麼想他一直這樣捉著她的手。他手上的溫暖像久違了的陽光﹐照亮了她枯萎的生命。但時間到了﹐她不得不走。


「我們總會再見的。」她向他溫柔地笑﹐忍痛甩開他的手﹐不敢再回頭看他。


眼前的境象逐漸模糊﹐最後回到漆黑一片。


*************************************************************************************


他是她最不想說謊的人﹐但她還是騙了他。

事實是﹐他在5年前因病逝世。 但她還是遵守了約定﹐一個人在戲院門前等。

因為10年前﹐他們說好了﹐無論發生什麼事﹐到了2014年7月31日1點鐘﹐他們一定要在那裡見面。

她決定返回5年前﹐並不是想問那句話或改變什麼。她只是想再見他。


*************************************************************************************


時間回到2014年8月1日。

實驗室內一片死寂。

「她死了。」終於有人說。

「她的表情像不像已回到過去? 」

「不知道。參加實驗的人沒有一個活著回來。問題到底出在那裡? 」

「不過﹐他們總算在一起了吧。」

電影現場之旅（港島篇）

小嗜好大升級 電影場景掌故遊
(星島)2009年10月22日 星期四 06:30


有人鍾意看電影，有人喜歡四圍遊逛，有人卻來個「二合一」，浪遊喜愛電影的拍攝場地，每到一處，都會駐足細味電影情節點滴。這個港片迷兼城市癡，起初只想用最短時間遊走最多場景，所記資料純為私人收藏，雜亂無序；後來經過一番求證、整理和分類，炮製出一本妙不可言的電影場景掌故書。原來無聊嗜好，只要你認真鑽研，都可以「升呢」，為本土電影歷史記錄，盡點綿力。(文：Dicky 圖：Dicky、何健勇、星島圖片庫)

　　身分神秘「蝙蝠俠」

　　下午一時四十五分，筆者處身港島半山區干德道，等候一位別名叫「奇夫」的港產片迷。「奇夫」之名，其實是翻譯自英文名Keith，他於五年前開始，走遍本地大街小巷，搜尋港產片的拍攝場景，並一一以相片和文字形式記錄下來。相約見面前，「奇夫」已表明「三不」規條：不透露真實全名、不拍攝正面照片和不會說現時職業，其身分儼如電影中的「蝙蝠俠」般神秘。五分鐘後，「蝙蝠俠」現身！眼前的「奇夫」沒有面罩、斗篷，只是一名頭戴Cap帽、身穿T恤的普通三十六歲男子。筆者跟隨「奇夫」由干德道緩步直上寶珊道，路盡處就是《色，戒》裏王佳芝（湯唯飾）為了扮成富貴人家接近易先生（梁朝偉 飾），與同學們入住的那所大宅。這所破舊大宅已廢置多時，正門鐵閘並沒上鎖，但「奇夫」卻堅持不內進，只站在宅外遠望細賞。「我通常只會在場景附近影一、兩張相，再幻想自己就是戲中人，回味完電影情節後就會離開。」據他說，有些「進取型」的本地戲迷，為求親身踏上《無間道》裏陳永仁（梁朝偉飾）和劉健明（劉德華 飾）的「講數」天台，會想盡辦法闖入私人商廈，「我在商廈樓下往上看已足夠，我驚自己會像戲內黃Sir（黃秋生 飾）般跌下來！」

　　逐格定鏡找線索

　　跟「奇夫」由半山區往下走，足迹遍及半個中環 ，由衞城道的《阿飛正傳》虛構電話亭、些利街的《薰衣草》舊式住宅、普慶坊的《柔道龍虎榜》「躂生魚」場地、必列者士街的《大隻佬》紙巾共舞地，走到九如坊的《流氓醫生》虛擬大排檔，再到蘭桂坊 的《重慶森林》「加州」餐廳，最後到達銀行街的《阿飛正傳》一分鐘大鐘，長達四個多小時的「中環精華遊」，足足浪遊了四、五十齣港產片的拍攝場景，而「奇夫」對沿路街道的歷史掌故，絕不下於對港產片的認識，「我自小就喜歡看地圖，小時候無書看時，我會翻開地圖當書讀！不過多年來四處找電影拍攝場景，也令我對香港地理、街道分布有更進一步了解。」

　　一名普通港產片癡，和影圈人脈全無關係，一場一景，純靠在家收看電影VCD，再逐格定鏡，尋找拍攝場地的蛛絲馬迹，然後單人匹馬親到疑似場景求證。過程中，難免會遇到馮京作馬涼的情況，「很多時去到現場才知搞錯，走了不少冤枉路。」

　　非純粹消磨時間

　　個人嗜好，功能上可以只是用來消磨時間，但亦可以有另一番深層意義。站在衞城道的「奇夫」表示：「這裏除了曾拍攝《阿飛正傳》外，亦是《去年煙花特別多》的取景場地，後者探討的是九七後香港人尋找身分的問題，其實《阿飛正傳》同樣訴說著同一議題。張國榮飾演的旭仔，一直尋覓自己的生母，找尋自己的身分。再看看兩部電影的『相交點』劉德華，他在《阿》當演員，到《去》負責監製時，會否提議到衞城道取景，來個互相呼應呢？」你可以說「奇夫」無限上綱，想得太多，但這個浪遊電影場景嗜好的過癮之處，正正就是提供深度思考和在地發現的機會：「有次我想去找《九龍冰室》中那間茶餐廳，由深水埗步行到石峽尾，我發現兩區的距離其實很近，但在港鐵路線圖上卻分別屬於荃灣線和觀塘線，看似相隔甚遠；沿路建築物亦反映了上世紀五、六十年代勞動階層的生活點滴，這類發現已超出找到拍攝場景的喜悅。最後茶餐廳找不到，心裏卻仍覺滿載而歸。」

*************************************************************************************

昨天看到這本書便想買。

但由於時間的關係(基本上所有的事都和時間有關係)，最終沒有。

不過今天買也一樣。

The End of the World

"anyway..happy together...tony has a friend, he wants to go to the end of the world. he likes to take a recorder around, he heard that say the sad things at the end of the world then the sadness would be gone...so he ask tony to say something into the recorder, the friend let tony say it alone..and then tony holding the recorder, press record, and he didn't know what to say...and he cried..that was the best scene in happy together."

....................................................................................

This is very similar to how i reacted when i arrived your tomb.

I miss you

"I miss u very very much today. I don't know..i just want to see u, or listen to ur voice. i don't know how to explain the feeling. it's like u are in my heart but i can't see u...and i know this would last for a long time........"

如果我變成回憶

累了 照慣例努力清醒著
也照慣例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在夢中 不聽話的 就停止了

聽著 呼吸像浪潮拍動著
越美麗越讓我忐忑
我還能珍惜什麼
如果我連自己的脈搏 都難掌握

如果我變成回憶 退出了這場生命
留下你錯愕哭泣
我冰冷身體 擁抱不了你
想到我讓深愛的你人海孤獨旅行
我會恨自己 如此狠心

如果我變成回憶 終於沒那麼幸運
沒機會白著頭髮
蹣跚牽著你 看晚霞落盡
漫長時光總有一天你會傷心痊癒
若有人可以 讓他陪你 我不怪你

快樂 什麼時候會結束呢
哪一刻是最後一刻
想把你緊緊抱著
可知你是我生命中的 最捨不得

如果我變成回憶 退出了這場生命
留下你錯愕哭泣
我冰冷身體 擁抱不了你
想到我讓深愛的你人海孤獨旅行
我會恨自己 如此狠心

如果我變成回憶 終於沒那麼幸運
沒機會白著頭髮
蹣跚牽著你 看晚霞落盡
漫長時光總有一天你會傷心痊癒
若有人可以 讓他陪你

如果我變成回憶 最怕我太不爭氣
頑固的賴在空氣 霸佔你心裡 每一寸縫隙
原來依然愛我的你痛苦 承受失去
這樣不公平 請你盡力 把我忘記

Cockroach

Read back our e-mails, I found one quite interesting.

I wrote:
Finally i slept at 1:30. I went to washroom before i slept, then i found a big cockroach there, i sprayed my perfume to it (dont worry, not ur perfume), it's still alive. I m not "brave enough" to kill it, i cannot find any slippers of my family around (of cos i will not use my own slippers to kill it). I am too tired, cant think of other ways, so i closed the washroom door & slept. Do u afraid of cockroach? (what a stupid question! u must tell me no la)

You replied:
i think the cockroach u met last nite is most lucky...not many cockroach can have perfume on them.

Later you wrote about it again:
haha, when i was having lunch in eat today, i was thinking.if the cockroach went home and his wife smell the perfume, his wife may think he went to 'gwun'..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killing insects with perfume is kind of my signature since then.

I think it's less violent. At least, the insect will have full body left. To me, the most awful part is not the moment of killing. I feel worst when cleaning up their remains.

Luckily, most insects i met are just small potatoes. Perfume works for them.

Not sure if it works on big cockroach. But i never want to know.

忙

無端端捲入了別人的Deadline中...........
這幾天有排忙

背影

上星期在街上看見一個熟悉的背影
再看他的側面
頗肯定他就是我中學時曾暗戀過的師兄

為什麼可以肯定?
因為當你暗戀一個人的時侯
總不敢正面看他
最常留意的
反而是他的背影和側面

看回當時的日記
原來我暗戀他的原因非常無聊
我留意他只不過因為覺得他經常看我
例如：每逢我無意中看到他的時侯
他總是在看我 (可能只是湊巧，說不定他也以為我對他有興趣)

據日記所載
原來我們還說過幾句話

當時我是校內的圖書管理員
他問我關於影印的事
後來我還冒失地把他的文件弄亂了
害他要重頭整理

對他
很早以前已沒有什麼感覺

像所有暗戀的故事一樣
這只是一個沒所謂開始
也沒所謂結束的故事

符號

如果可用標點符號來表達這幾個月的心情﹐我想說的是:

。

！

？

.....................

，

面霜

這兩天的煩惱主要是無法決定買那一隻牌子的面霜.........
朋友／網民說兩隻牌子都好用。
看完產品介紹，更加迷失.........

雪花秀水生面霜
雪花秀水生面霜是為皮膚深層供應水分，並令其長期留在皮膚內部，締造明亮滋潤的皮膚的韓方水分面霜。韓方保濕成分為深層皮膚供應水分，桑白皮和金銀花萃取物發揮水的護膚力量，為皮膚注入生機。同時，源自裂褶菌的糖類高分子成分形成皮膚保護膜，防止皮膚水分的散發，維持皮膚的滋潤狀態。水生面霜塗抹時分佈均勻，吸收快，不受季節和皮膚類型的限制。

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream
萃取自南極的冰河醣蛋白，具有防凍、抗乾燥，強效的保濕功效。能鎖住肌膚表面水分並吸收空氣中的水氣，達到24小時不間斷的保濕效果，即使是在氣候嚴峻的環境之中也可發揮防護傷害。

到底要「明亮滋潤........為皮膚注入生機」好一點，還是要「能鎖住肌膚表面水分並吸收空氣中的水氣...........24小時不間斷的保濕效果」？

A Dream

I had a dream yesterday............

I dreamt that I was sleeping. Slept with someone I don't know.

I could feel you walked in & out from my room. But since I was sleeping, we didn't talk at all.

I wanted to find you once I waked up. I remembered you told me you would go to a place with a friend. I went to the place you mentioned, I saw lots of people there but I cant find you.

I took a taxi, decided to go to somewhere else. I walked alone for a while.

I felt tired very soon. I decided to take a taxi back to the hotel. But the taxi driver said there’s no such address. I need to walk back by myself.

I waked up at that moment.

It’s not really a bad dream.........just quite realistic to me.

新的一天

早上六點鐘起了床﹐慣性地喝一杯水。

忽爾被窗外的光線吸引﹐駐足看了一會。

那是一個美得無法形容的早晨。一個像黃昏的早晨。

即使我的世界沒有太陽沒有玫瑰﹐外面的世界依舊運作如常。

我們的喜怒哀樂及那些所謂的回憶﹐一千年後﹐對地球而言又有什麼分別?

為了証實你的存在不是一場幻覺﹐我也要好好的活著。

病

柏拉圖說:愛情是一種嚴重的精神病

還有失憶症和夜盲症..............

失憶症

詞：杜鑫
曲：陳文華
唱：蔡健雅

忘了你的姓名 忘了你的聲音
回憶就一步一步遠離

忘了天很透明 忘了風很無情
也忘了當時擁抱的甜蜜

愛不再繼續
一個人離去 另一個人學習忘記

失去了記憶
我的世界能不能夠 風平浪靜

我 不能忘記 深愛過的你
太過洶湧的回憶就像風雨來襲

每次想你 都慢慢沉溺
失憶症是一種無法治癒的清醒

暴風雨 轉眼間就要來臨
當所有關於你的舊情節還在翻雲覆雨
走下去 天空瞬間就放晴
經歷遺忘的風雨再看不見親吻的痕跡

不再想你 oh...

我的勇氣 已不言而喻
我學會了將自己從往事中抽離

不再想你 就這麼決定
失憶症是一種難得一見的幸運

忘記了你的姓名 忘記了你的聲音
忘記了 我的愛情

夜盲症

歌手：蔡健雅
作曲：蔡健雅
填詞：小寒
編曲：黃韻仁

黑夜的顏色　能否黑一點
讓沿途的街燈　能浮現
這個城市的安靜　能否再安靜一瞬間
讓我的求救　再微弱你都聽得見

為何一到黃昏　寂寞好深
遮住回你懷裡的路程
等你的腳步聲　給我新生
我的夜盲症就快要變永恆

任性的淚水　若洗淨雙眼
或許哭能恢復　我視線
慢條斯理的時間　若能加速到達明天
或許我的你　能提早些見我一面

為何一到黃昏　寂寞好深
遮住回你懷裡的路程
等你的腳步聲　給我新生
我的夜盲症就快要變永恆

思念總是讓我受困　脫不了身
我摸黑找不到回家的路程
等待熟悉的腳步聲　給我心疼
我的夜盲症　才不會變永恆

......................

One day I talked to C, she just asked me don't think too much.

It’s funny. I also want to know how can I stop thinking? And what is too much?

Someone died. He’s not only a lover, he’s also my best friend.

If I can totally erase an important person in my heart......
If I can be apathetic......
If I can live normal like other robots........
Then I m really not myself anymore.

I also born to think.

Can I resign? Shall I kill myself?

I am not blaming her for not understanding me. Our path, our core are different. We are ppl from different planets but coincidently met on earth.

By the way, I never want to kill myself.

Irreversible

I always get headache since Aug. I seldom get headache in the past. May be it’s bcos I have been thinking a lot but I cant find a way out.

Before I know you, I used to talk to myself. Sometimes I wrote diaries too.

After I know you, I just talk everything to you.

After you gone, suddenly I don't know what to do.

You think going back is easy? The world is changing. Your path, other people’s path keep changing......

You think you are walking on a road. If there is a road for you to walk ahead, suppose you can go back on the same road. But actually, there’s no path behind you. You can look back, but cant walk back anymore. It's Jack cant go back to the island.........

Most of the time, I try to write my thoughts out........although not easy, and I don't really have much time. I think I m just writing only 10% - 20% so far.

I try to write in a way that I think people can understand.

But I don't really care whether people understand.

I m thinking........if I can talk in a way that people can understand, then I can clarify what is it.

And the problem is no longer a problem to me anymore.

對白

P 說 (22:49):
next thurs
P 說 (22:50):
you have to come and get it
S 說 (22:51):
i knew u would say so
S 說 (22:51):
i afraid i get sick as well
P 說 (22:51):
of course lah, you know how i think mah
P 說 (22:51):
then go to sleep now lah
S 說 (22:52):
no, i want to stick to my study plan
S 說 (22:52):
running out of time
S 說 (22:53):
if u find my heart, u will see "i love u' there
P 說 (22:54):
so whoever finds it, then you love him?
S 說 (22:55):
yeah
S 說 (22:55):
1st come 1st serves
P 說 (22:55):
then i will find it, and swallow it into my stomach
S 說 (22:58):
if someone ask me where is my heart
S 說 (22:58):
i will say my heart is with u
P 說 (22:58):
lost is getting good, john and eko got into the question mark room....
S 說 (22:59):
yes
S 說 (22:59):
great part
S 說 (22:59):
this is the part that surprise me & then i think it's good

對白

P 說:
may be that's why
S 說:
what's ur reason?
P 說:
it suppose to be like..
P 說:
you know why i love you so much
P 說:
and you say no
P 說:
and i would say ' i dunno know as well'
P 說:
but this dui bark failed
S 說:
bcos if i behave exactly what u expect
S 說:
i think u wont love me that much
P 說:
i think if you behave like what i expect, then YOU won't love me that much
P 說:
because now, you are special...not like others

耳環

有一隻綠色圓型耳環，我竟任由它掉在地上整整兩個月.............



如果我可忍受塵滿面的風扇，鬢如霜的浴室鏡，一隻耳環又算得是什麼？



大概一星期前，我終於把它拾起，掛回耳環架上。



因為我想起我買的時侯是一對，後來另一隻不知掉在那裡，再也找不回。



好好的一對耳環，因為跟著我這種不成才的主人，從此天各一方......



不過我耳環架上的單身耳環多的是，希望它不再覺得寂寞。

忘記傷害

作詞: 林夕
作曲: 馮翰銘
主唱: 林峯

當 這感覺未發生
不知道你光臨 我大概還可繼續散心
無奈我的心 不經意著了燈
為得不到的吸引 令我不糾纏亦不忍

當 他手放在你身
才想到我是好友永沒權利去傷感
忘記受過傷害 施捨最假的愛
也會令我肯相信這段感情避不開
忘記如何忍耐
但期待一夜之間醒過來
我和你便已如戀人熱愛

想 想一世待你好
不需要有出路 那是我唯一快樂
其實期望未算高 不擁抱便跌倒
付出的都不苦惱 被愛的當然未知道

好 即使我未夠好
連哭一聲都不配你便提示我怎做

忘記受過傷害　施捨最假的愛
也會令我肯相信這段感情避不開
忘記如何忍耐
但期待一夜之間醒過來
我和你便已如戀人熱愛

....................................................................

I dont really listen to 林峯. But i like this song, bcos of 林夕.
I never ever escaped from what had happened.
Holy shit.

現況

放了3天假， 卻沒有真正的休息。總是在忙朋友的事..........
一個朋友結婚。一個朋友失業。另一個朋友轉工。
其中兩個主動要求我幫忙。另一個沒有說，是我主動問的。

終於病了。

應該是傷風，呼吸困難，一直想咳，但又不敢咳太多。
不敢咳太多因為怕「驚動」了同事，更不想戴口罩。
不想戴口罩因為怕戴了後會皮膚敏感。
加上姨媽好心探訪..............

雖然真的很累，不過還不算很辛苦。

Truth

Watched "State of Play" tonite. It's very good, and it should be the movie i like most since you left.

Only at this point, i realized that the topics that i always found interesting is the TRUTH.

No wonder i like X file, Lost, Fringe.....and all other kinds of detective stories & stories related to legal cases.

Time to sleep. Just hope my brain can stop thinking for a while.

面具

關於面具.........

我從前曾以為自己總戴著面具與不同的人相處﹐原來不是。

嚴格來說﹐應該是面紗。面紗當然不只一層。一層怎夠保護自己？年紀越大﹐面紗的層數越多﹐種類也越多。

因為忙﹐有時戴著面紗洗澡睡覺也不自覺；即使覺得﹐也懶得脫下再戴上。因為可以獨處的時間越來越少﹐可以接受你真面目的人越來越少﹐甚至沒有。這種動作似乎有點多餘。

最可悲/可笑的是.......當你鼓起勇氣解下了全部面紗後...... 沒有人要看。沒有人覺得有分別。因為從來都沒有人對你有興趣。

有些人更會對真正的你失望。因為他/她愛的只是戴上面紗後那個若隱若現的你。

可能你對自已更失望。面紗變成是戴給自已看的。

至於我.........我認為戴面紗是一種禮儀﹐也是保護自己的行為。

誰想看﹐而我又高興的話﹐就讓那人看夠吧。

附帶條件是.........我也要看他/她的。

我不喜歡玩一開始就不公平的遊戲。

畢竟問的人、又肯遵守遊戲規則的人也不多。

應該只有一個。

Final Destination

「我終於到達﹐但卻更悲傷...........」



「一個人完成﹐我們的夢想...........」

會呼吸的痛

作詞：姚若龍
作曲：宇珩
主唱：梁靜茹

在東京鐵塔 第一次眺望
看燈火模仿 墜落的星光
我終於到達 但卻更悲傷
一個人完成 我們的夢想

你總說 時間還很多 你可以等我
以前我不懂得 未必明天 就有以後

想念是會呼吸的痛 它活在我身上所有角落
哼你愛的歌會痛 看你的信會痛 連沈默也痛

遺憾是會呼吸的痛 它流在血液中來回滾動
後悔不貼心會痛 恨不懂你會痛 想見不能見最痛

沒看你臉上 張揚過哀傷
那是種多麼 寂寞的倔強
你拆了城牆 讓我去流浪
在原地等我 把自己綑綁

你沒說 你也會軟弱 需要倚賴我
我就裝不曉得 自由移動 自我地過

想念是會呼吸的痛 它活在我身上所有角落
哼你愛的歌會痛 看你的信會痛 連沈默也痛

遺憾是會呼吸的痛 它流在血液中來回滾動
後悔不貼心會痛 恨不懂你會痛 想見不能見最痛

我發誓不再說謊了 多愛你就會抱你多緊的
我的微笑都假了 靈魂像飄浮著 你在就好了

我發誓不讓你等候 陪你做想做的無論什麼
我越來越像貝殼 怕心被人觸碰 你回來那就好了

能重來那就好了

呼吸

作詞：徐世珍　
作曲：陳偉　
編曲：陳偉/Andy
主唱：蔡健雅

呼吸 呼吸沒有你的空氣
夜沒有模糊我自己 和你分離 讓我更清醒

我輕輕呼吸 呼吸這冰冷的空氣
昨天在淚眼中遠去 有過溫柔 我會記得你

照片中依然有那天陽光裡的溫度
手心還握著淡淡的幸褔
那快樂太清楚 才襯出現在的孤獨
不能擁有全部 只擁有回憶 是受苦還是禮物

呼吸 我需要多一點空氣
思念幾乎讓人窒息 沉溺漆黑無聲的海底

我不能呼吸 我需要多一點勇氣
畢竟真心難以忘記 我和寂寞 越來越熟悉

說一句再見是那麼容易 多久才能填滿這冷清
別離的苦 苦在回憶裡還有甜蜜


我慢慢呼吸 呼吸這冰冷的空氣
昨天在淚眼中遠去 有過溫柔 我會記得你

走出了這一場迷霧 陽光還有溫度
每一場離別 當時都倉促 是距離讓人領悟

呼吸 我需要多一點空氣
思念幾乎讓人窒息 沉溺漆黑無聲的海底

說一句再見是那麼容易 多久才能填滿這冷清
別離的苦 苦在回憶裡還有甜蜜

我慢慢呼吸 呼吸沒有你的空氣
夜沒有模糊我自己 和你分離 讓我更清醒

我輕輕呼吸 呼吸這冰冷的空氣
昨天在淚眼中遠去 有過溫柔 回首這風雨
微笑竟然是我 最常想起的表情

Grief

I've heard it said that grief is like an animal to some. With a life of its own and we are at its mercy. I don't know about that. Grief is the stillness of the world the moment my boy left it. It's that quiet rain that never stops falling. They say that grief transforms us. I know it's transforming me, but into what?


From Movie: Incendiary (2008)

Slow Down

1 Oct dinner with H's family.
2 Oct dinner with H's friends.
3 Oct visited HIM in Tseung Kwan O.
4 Oct went to Cheung Chau to celebrate one of my best friend's bday.
5 Oct back to work with a burning and itchy skin.

I really need a long break. But new things come.......I just cant say no.

May be i should try to slow down a bit..............

Swim or Sink

Can i swim to the other side of the river? (Hope it's just a river, not a sea)

I sure i can swim thru, only if you were there waiting for me.

But i cant see you there....

I prefer to sink......sink to the deepest part of your heart.

And not wake up anymore.

Fortune telling

Bcos now i have lots of time left (i used to devote such time to you).....i went to do some stupid fortune telling test:

First Bf:
你們的關係，驚險刺激，預料不到，可以在極短的時間內發生感情，而且發展會像電影一樣，很有戲劇性。
(it's 11 days from knowing till we together. Like movie...may be...)

Husband:
你們會由做朋友開始，大家有共同話題，一起時很好玩，擦出熱熾的火花，發展會很快速。
(quite accurate, from knowing till we together, just 12 days. We had sparks?! Why i dont remember......)

You:
這是一段認真的戀情，你們就對對方很認真，視對方為結婚對象，對這段感情會有很高的期望。
(may be.....bcos you said...... "u are not a good house wife..yes, that's what i think..and i don't mind..may be u would try hard to be a good house wife..but for me, i don't need one. i think u are a good wife, just i can imagine i would like u to be my wife...u would do things for me..not house work..may be little things...housework..u don't have to do lah....i mean if u are with me.")

The Butterfly Effect

Watched "The Butterfly Effect" tonite. The ending is sad.....but i dont expect a happy ending anyway.

When i searched this movie on internet....i found a more sad ending from Director's cut. Personally i like this one most:



There's another open ending i like. But then i think....their destiny is to separate. Whenever they are together, bad things happened to the girl. So.....Director's cut is still the best. He shouldnt been born.

If i were the guy, i will do the same.

路口

歌手：蔡健雅
作曲：柯貴民
填詞：陳綺貞
編曲：鍾興民

就當作這十一年的　光陰蹉跎
我不再溫習每次　深情的交錯
我們不過是　各自轉動的星球
擁抱著　永恆的空洞

就當作你的離去　起不了作用
我的心還完整的　像一個黑洞
深深地　把你吸附在　無邊宇宙
一抬起頭　就能夠看見你
依然為我閃爍

走不出的路口
一個人　一瞬間　淹沒在　人群中
寂寞的路口
一個人　一轉眼　走進了　回憶漩渦＃

在爭吵的時候　也能從你
最輕柔的手　進入夢中

在冰冷的時候　你的溫柔
總是能燃燒　我熾熱的感受

寧願不曾醒來　你就是我
生命中一個　最深邃的夢
你是我生命中　轉彎的路口