距離

詞 陳綺貞

曲 陳綺貞



進一步就是退 退在你影子覆蓋範圍

你看的事情多絕對 絕對沒有容許犯錯的機會

退一步就是追 追趕被你侵犯的機會

我留的空間越絕對 越看出你想要擁抱的意味



而我在猜 你會怎麼做

當你失落 意志力薄弱

除非是我 在你的耳邊訴說

彌補一個人的虛空



我們現在 遠距離的戀愛

我是否該放鬆我的期待

除非是我 熟悉你身體的脈博

需要最深邃的安慰 讓我貼進你最柔軟的心扉

只有我 才能將你的好壞 都擁有



我們現在 遠距離的戀愛

我是否該坦白我的關懷

如果是我在你的耳邊訴說 能否彌補兩個人的虛空



而我在猜 你會怎麼做

當你滿足不了你的欲求

除非是我 熟悉你身體的脈博

需要最深邃的安慰 讓我貼進你最柔軟的心扉

只有我 才能將我們的距離 都佔有



退一步就是追 追趕被你侵犯的機會

你留的空間 除非是我

才能將我們的距離 都佔有

還 是 會 寂 寞

曲 : 陳 綺 貞

詞 : 陳 綺 貞





早 已 忘 了 想 你 的 滋 味 是 甚 麼

因 為 每 分 每 秒 都 被 你 佔 據 在 心 中

你 的 一 舉 一 動 牽 扯 在 我 生 活 的 隙 縫

誰 能 告 訴 我 離 開 你 的 我 會 有 多 自 由



也 曾 想 過 躲 進 別 人 溫 暖 的 懷 中

可 是 這 麼 一 來 就 一 點 意 義 也 沒 有

我 的 高 尚 情 操 一 直 不 斷 提 醒 著 我

離 開 你 的 我 不 論 過 多 久 還 是 會 寂 寞



別 對 我 小 心 翼 翼 別 讓 我 看 輕 你

跟 著 我 勇 敢 的 走 下 去 別 勸 我 回 心 轉 意

這 不 是 廉 價 的 愛 情 看 著 我 對 我 說 真 愛 我

Saturday

Waked up by a bad dream in the morning. Slept back for 30 mins and waked up again for work. Suppose I don’t need to work this Saturday, but I have too much unfinished tasks…..

Watched “Orphan” in the afternoon. It’s quite scary, but in no way comparable to “The Shining”. I cried when I watched some scenes. It’s not bcos of the movie, it’s bcos of you.

After the movie, we went to buy some computer stuff. The shop played “人來人往”, I cried again. Not very serious, just few lines of tears run down my face. Dunno what happened to me, I always think I m getting better these days, but somehow, I m still the same. The most important thing is, no one notice that.

After the dinner and dessert, we watched “極速緋聞”. You said when you see the gal u think of me (?!). The movie is ok, not as funny as I thought. The son is very cute. You had showed me the scene you think most funny, so I don’t have much feeling when watching it the 2nd time……..if there’s other feeling, should be sth else…..

I slept around 12:00am. Very tired.

Beauty & the Beast

Friday

Dinner with F on Friday nite, we went to a coffee shop which i always like to go. I dont drink coffee at all, but i like the smell and atmosphere. We talked a lot, after i came back from washroom, i found a paper writing Mr. Chan's phone no. on my seat. F thought it's scary. I comforted her, i told her that he's not Mr. Chan. Then we went to see the bridesmaid dress, we will try and confirm the dress next monday.

She asked,'Is it ok that you dont go to his funeral?'
I said, ' I have decided not to go, i dont even want to pass by the building'
'Will he come to find us on that day?'
'No, he will need to entertain lots of ppl on that day, and he knows i will visit him later this month, a lazy person like him wont cross the sea la'

She also asked me what songs she should use for the march in. Personally i like "Beauty and the Beast". But i also suggested "A whole new world". Later my ipod played X Japan's "Sperion", i think the beginning melody is ok, i promised that i will send her all songs by this week. Oh, i also promised to prepare the rundown and schedule for her this week......

Although she already assigned someone as the Maid of Honor due to family reason, she asked me to be her 近身侍女 whole day bcos she doesnt trust the Maid of Honor. F also thinks my advice is more "trustworthy" bcos we seem to have similar taste. In fact, we dont have similar taste, i only know what she wants and try to advise sth she would like. Of cos, i will add my personal advice if i think her ideas are too terrible.

It reminds me of what you have said - sth like...'Many ppl feel good to talk to me, but i only feel good when talk to a few ppl'

I miss you so much. I m talking less and less now......

Bad Bad News...........

When i m prepared to make new life, bad (or death?!) news come one after another..........
I used to think i m optimistic and tough, but now, i m not so sure.........

人來人往

曲：陳輝陽 詞：林夕 編曲/監製：陳輝陽

朋友已走 剛升職的你舉杯到凌晨還未夠 用盡心機拉我手
纏在我頸背後 說你男友有事忙是借口 說到終於飲醉酒

情侶會走 剛失戀的你哭乾眼淚前來自首 寂寞因此牽我手
除下了他手信後 我已得到你沒有 但你我至少往後 成為了蜜友

閉起雙眼你最掛念誰 眼睛張開身邊竟是誰
感激車站裡 尚有月台能讓我們滿足到落淚
擁不擁有也會記住誰 快不快樂留在身體裡
愛若能夠永不失去 何以你今天竟想找尋伴侶

誰也會走 剛相戀的你先知我們原來未夠 借故鬆開我的手
藏在貼紙相背後 我這苦心開過沒有 但試過散心旅遊 如何答沒有

閉起雙眼我最掛念誰 眼睛張開身邊竟是誰
感激車站裡 尚有月台曾讓我們滿足到落淚
擁不擁有也會記住誰 快不快樂有天總過去
愛若為了永不失去 誰勉強娛樂過誰
愛若難以放進手裡 何不將這雙手放進心裡

時間會走 剛失戀的我開始與旁人攜著手 但甚麼可以擁有
纏在那頸背後 最美麗長髮未留在我手 我也開心飲過酒

Slow

i wrote so many cheques today, all dated on 1 Sept. It reminds me sth......sth make me couldnt breathe if i try to think further.

I am always not good at remembering numbers, i easily forget the prices of the item i just bought, dates etc. Sometimes i also forget my age. Not that i try to escape the fact that i m getting old.......just feel it's getting less important once i reached certain age. If ppl want to know my age, i usually give them my birthday, and let them do the calculation itself.

So, I look at the calendar again to find out what's the date of today. I m still in August.

Time is moving so slow without you.

I dont understand women

L invited me to watch the movie "Orphan" this saturday. OK no problem. But later, my husband asked the same thing. I told him that i had promised L, he said i must watch the movie with him, but he "allow" L to come with us.

L dislikes my husband.(Basically none of my friend like my husband.)
She refused the offer. So i made a counter offer, as i promised her to watch it with her, i will still go with her; in order to keep the promise, i dont mind to watch the movie twice.

L refused again, 'No, you promised to watch with me'
I said,' I still watch with you, although i need to watch the movie twice. What's the difference to you anyway?'
L said in a quite upset way,'No need to watch with me. You dont need to waste money. I m not your toothpick!'

Why she bcom my toothpick? She invited me for movie 1st, not me. I guess i understand why she upset, but it's not related to the whole incident.

I dont understand women. Sigh.........

Hair

what a tired day!!!! Apart from that, the skin of my neck feels itchy from time to time since yesterday nite, i guess it's bcos i dyed my hair black last sunday, and my skin still allegic to the chemicals.

I start growing lots of white hair ever since i started the post grad. study. Of cos, it's also bcos i m getting old.

But i dont understand why it's not applied to the pubic hair. I checked carefully, not even one.

I get the answer very soon (as usual, i ask questions to myself and answered by myself). PROBABLY IT'S BECOS MY HEAD THINK BUT MY SISTER DONT.

長夜My Love Good Night

長夜一聲不響將漆黑放低
重拾起一張相癡癡看至入迷
夜靜無人　相中有你
你是心中的一切
親親照片輕輕說 My Love Good Night

無奈始終不懂將思憶放低
長夜將當天一切再復提
尚未能眠　只因過往
你在深宵總擁抱我
親親我說 My Love Good Night

再聽當天一起選的唱片
合上眼假裝你在身邊
然後獨自隨著拍子起舞　不管夜已深
但求令我過倦入眠

不變

「現在我們一起在廚房裡炒蛋，我對你說了這些話，我們好像已經是朋友，但以後說不定很快就會變了。」



「但有些事卻是永遠都不會變的。」



「譬如說，蛋和飯炒在一起，就一定是蛋炒飯，永遠不會變成肉絲炒麵的。」



<流星.蝴蝶.劍> 古龍



............................................................................



發生過的事，是永遠都不會變的。

You say it best when you say nothing at all

Thanks for the song,

海誓山盟

我：以前細個我會聽電台錄歌，鍾意既歌會聽好多次，仲要抄低歌詞!呢首我有錄過，又有抄到嘔心瀝血既歌詞

你：我細個都鍾意呢首，不過唔係甘多人鍾意

i think both of us dont like this song much now. but it is good to know that we both like the same thing long before we met.

Lonely wont leave me alone

Heard a song from my ipod yesterday, i remembered we talked about it:

me:　呢首係咪你既開聲歌

you: 係收聲歌　唱完都無聲啦

....................................................................................

再次看你一眼　然後靜靜獨自遠行　WOO
前面是個孤單既夜晚
四處也覺冰冷　離別路上步步困難　WOO
長夜待我空虛裡習慣

誰願回看憂鬱的眼　舊事沒法平淡
偏偏要裝作平淡
憑著忘記將它沖淡　但是易說難辦
歲月已印在眉間

忽忽光陰如幻　天天空虛無限
落寞的雙眼　前面尚有千億個夜晚
OH　終於歸於平淡
茫茫然走向　埋沒著我一生既夜晚

LONELY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
LONELY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
茫茫然走向　埋沒著我一生既夜晚

LONELY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
LONELY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE
ALWAYS BY MY SIDE
LONELY WON'T LET ME FALL IN LOVE

OH EVERYWHERE I GO
ALWAYS BY MY SIDE
LONELY WON'T LET ME FALL IN LOVE

Me: 聽日陪我唱 lunch K呀 !

L: 我怕你喊.

Me: 我星期二有唱. 我無事. 而家呢個時候你要陪我

L: 嘩! 你出呢度金牌. 無得唔陪.　

Me

This is exactly how i look like now.........

Better? Now?

Many ppl asked whether i m getting better, it depends how you define it. Of cos i "look" much better than last week. I wont cry when i see car parks or fat boy. But i m no way better since you left.



Everybody moves on. i think some part of me keep moving on, and some part of me left in 2046. I think i shall see this movie again. I have told myself not to read back our old e-mails for now.....but i cant stop myself from doing it. Actually we both write a lot. Some I totally forget. Memories may fool us, words seem to be more trustworthy.



Can picture tell feelings? I dont know, it all depends. Even ppl get different feelings after watching the same movie or book. I also keep thinking about the love between us, but the more i dig into it, the more puzzled i feel.



May be i just need to accept that, we cant explain / understand why things happened. It just happened.



Thinking of you is not really painful. The most painful thing is, i cant feel you anymore when i miss you.

Lunch with W yesterday.

When we arrived the restaurant, she suddenly said the food overall will be $10 cheaper if we came back 1.5 hour later for tea time, why don't we just walked around the shopping mall. OK.

After 1.5 hours, we ended up buying $400 clothes.
Me: To save the $10, I end up spending $300 more!
W: I want to buy the dress long time ago
Me: But I dont plan to buy anything from the beginning......

After we ordered the food……
Me: You suggest to come here bcos you want to eat 燒鵝瀨 but now you order 燒鴨瀨
W: Oh, there’s no 燒鵝瀨 for tea time. 燒鴨瀨 same as 燒鵝瀨 la.

To me, there’s always a difference.

失控

總覺得自己像演出時過份投入的女演員 到劇終了 仍然無法抽離角色

Last Saturday

Tonite i did sth stupid, i went to your e-mail account, "read" the 2 emails i sent you, in order to create the illusion that you have read them.

Last saturday is the last time we talked.

Last last saturday

last last saturday
we talked on phone twice
we had been to the same train station, but arrived at different times
you arrived 1st, and me later

Remember

Just noticed that, on the day you wrote you dont belong to this world, 3 hours later, you sent me the 1st e-mail between us, just to say hi.

From the day you are gone, i gradually feel the same. Last week, we still belong to each other.

Now, i dont know what can i lean on.

Me: C 叫我暫時唔好聽歌
L : 好難避免wor
Me: 甘聽Michael Jackson D 歌 law, i m bad, i m bad.....

吳淡如. 租來的人生

在回憶裡，我們的故事，是一段租來的愛情。你曾愛我，而我很愛你，這一切都是真的。只是時間是租來的，你是租來的，我也是租來的……

當你遇到一個人之後才開始發現，自己心裡有一個空缺的地方，開始期待有人來填補，或者，發現自己原來非常非常孤單；那麼，那就是你逃不過的感情。

李雲僧的心裡彷彿有股暖流通過，有一道閘門被打開了。那是從來沒有過的感覺。或者，是一種老早被遺忘了的感覺。他的人生，早像被老師規定寫家庭作業一樣，不管開不開心，就是要進行著。但郭素素的出現，讓他的心起了化學變化。那晚，他一直恍惚著，腦海裡的畫面，不斷重複著那個吻……他的理智曾微弱地告訴他們，不可以玩這個危險的遊戲。但他不由自主往前走了，這一步跨出去，是讓人生解脫的機會嗎？或者，這只是一段租來的愛情，時間到了，就不得不還回去？

歡樂今宵

One of my friend asked me not to hear songs anymore at this moment.

But i cant stop songs playing on my brain:





從夢裡伊甸　來到我枕邊

夢與真之間　就只差一吋

要是留著你　真實地糾纏

怕沒權利以後留戀



情愫與相思　如最愛的書

末了那一章　沒翻開的勇氣

故事何樣美　終極是分離

不敢好奇　沾污結尾



猶如無人敢碰　秘密現在被揭曉　

明日想起　我們其實承受不了　



歡樂今宵　虛無飄渺　

再沒餘地繼續纏繞　



談情一世　發現願望極渺小　

留下一點　距離回味猶自心跳　



歡樂今宵　虛無飄渺　

那樣動搖　不如罷了

雨天

今早趕著出門

忘了帶傘

路上一直下著微雨

初認識時我們曾談論天氣

你說你喜歡雨天

當時我喜歡睛天

後來

我開始喜歡雨天

尢其是我舒適地在室內

而外面下著雨

每逢下雨天

我一定想起你

事實上

沒有一天

我不想你

Few days ago, when i desparately want to search your news, i once searched facebook.
i saw your profile pic. You are standing, looking at somewhere else happily.
The environment looks so surreal and beautiful after using some special effect, is it where you are now?

I was thinking, if i need to burn sth to you, what shall i burn?
"Entertainment Weekly"?

告訴我

看沉默的電話 它什麼都不說
看電視的畫面 它無聲的閃動
看街上的行人 跟我擦肩而過
整個世界太冷漠 我沒有力氣再往前走

告訴我 你不是真的離開我
你也不願這樣的夜裡把難過留給我
告訴我 你不是真的離開我
你是要懲罰我的愛讓你失去自由 告訴我

Last week, i forget which day, remember i told you that i read a sentence from a book, and i want to devote it to you.



But i was too busy to e-mail you, finally, you cant read it anymore........



你可知道

我總是在日暮時分

書影與書影之間

寧靜的悲哀裡 最想念你



<如果牆會說話>亦舒

原來
每當靜靜地想你超過5分鐘
我會淚流滿面